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Strategies & Market Trends : VOLTAIRE'S PORCH-MODERATED -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Dealer who wrote (53106)6/16/2002 12:55:34 PM
From: Dealer  Respond to of 65232
 
Andy Rooney On Phone-In-Polls:

You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues?

Did you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know." It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they're voting "I don't know."

(picture this)

Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Says Into Phone) "I DON'T KNOW!" (Hangs up looking proud.) Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about."

This guy probably calls up phone sex
girls for $2.95 to say, "I'm not in the mood."



To: Dealer who wrote (53106)6/16/2002 1:55:13 PM
From: RR  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 65232
 
I lost my Dad 20 years ago. He's my hero. He had one of those unfortunate childhoods, yet through hard work and determination, he made something out of himself.

When he died, people had to stand outside the church it was so full. Seems that everyone knew my Dad.

What I learned when he died was just how much good he'd done for others. He was a banker in a small county seat town in rural America. Folks my Mom and me didn't even know told countless stories about how he went to bat for them, helped them when nobody else would, would cut strings for them, and so on. Some people came to visit us to tell us about him that he'd helped years and years before. They never forgot him.

In all of his softness, he was a hard man. Difficult to get close to. An athlete. Tough. He was in the state record books for decades for one certain track event. Flew in a B-17 over Germany in WWII. He'd seen a lot. He raised himself since age 15.

When we'd say good-bye, we didn't hug. We shook hands instead. That was just his way. Yet, from stories people had been telling me for years, I knew that behind my back he bragged all over the county about me to anyone that would listen.

He was my Best Man at our wedding.

One huge regret about him that I have is that he never got to meet his grandsons before he died. He loved kids. That just tears me apart to think about it.

I shared some of the stories on the Porch the other day about the various awards our son received this year upon graduation. When he was on stage the other night getting his awards, I felt that my Dad was there, looking on. I could almost hear him leaning over to me whispering in my ear, "Good job, Son, now one more to go." He always had a way of challenging me to do better. I guess that's where I get that drive and positive attitude ya'll kid me about on here sometimes.

Anyway, my Friends, I just wanted to share a little bit with you about my Dad on this Father's Day.

He's still my hero.

RR



To: Dealer who wrote (53106)6/16/2002 2:47:42 PM
From: T L Comiskey  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 65232
 
borrowed post.
If true
we... as a species are in Deep 'stuff'
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a
holdup in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did something that can
only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
Happily for most concerned, this time it worked.

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have
a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.

Mourners at the funeral of Anna Bochinsky in Moinesti, Rumania, were
naturally somewhat taken aback when she abruptly leapt from her coffin as it
was being carried to the grave. Before they could react to this unexpected
outburst, the woman bounded into the nearest road, where she was run over
and killed by a passing car.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her dead.

One of the criteria by which Miss Nude USA was chosen in 1979 was taste in
clothing.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He
then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

In Minneapolis, USA, 28 year old Derrick L Richardson has been charged with
third-degree murder of his much loved cousin, Ken E Richardson. According to
local police, Derrick had suggested to Ken that they play a game of Russian
Roulette, but, having no revolver, instead put a semiautomatic pistol to his
cousin's head. Apparently, he did not realize that one bullet always loads
into the firing chamber of a semiautomatic.

An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked about how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see
how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an
examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only
took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Gimmee a break lady! Your daughter
is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor
that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation
by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched
the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the
window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying
attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared
in the East, and three wise men came. I was hoping they would show up again
and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant."