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To: Rambi who wrote (18268)	7/26/2002 3:05:12 PM
From: Poet	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 21057

Hi Rambi, I loved reading that piece on Passive Recipient Defense. I'd been under the impression that my own daughters had invented it way back when my oldest accused her Cabbage Patch doll of kicking a vase down the stairs because it was blocking her way . -gg I hope all is well.

To: Rambi who wrote (18268)	7/26/2002 5:33:21 PM
From: Lane3	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 21057

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT Band of Roving Chief Executives Spotted Miles from Mexican Border El Paso, Texas [AP] Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 10,000 remaining CEOs of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a marketing expense. "They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then doubled booked the revenues," said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso. "Right in front of my daughters." Calling themselves the CEOnistas, the chief executives were first spotted last night along the Rio Grande River near Quemado, where they bought each of the town's 320 residents by borrowing against pension fund gains. By late this morning, the CEOnistas had arbitrarily inflated Quemado's population to 960, and declared a 200 percent profit for the fiscal second quarter. This morning, the outlaws bought the city of Waco, transferred its under-performing areas to a private partnership, and sent a bill to California for $4.5 billion. Law enforcement officials and disgruntled shareholders riding posse were noticeably frustrated. "First of all, they're very hard to find because they always stand behind their numbers, and the numbers keep shifting," said posse spokesman Dean Levitt. "And every time we yell 'Stop in the name of the shareholders!', they refer us to investor relations. I've been on the phone all morning." "YOU'LL NEVER AUDIT ME ALIVE!" The pursuers said they have had some success, however, by preying on a common executive weakness. "Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our female officers as a CNBC anchor," said U.S. Border Patrol spokesperson Janet Lewis. "It was like moths to a flame." Also, teams of agents have been using high-powered listening devices to scan the plains for telltale sounds of the CEOnistas. "Most of the time we just hear leaves rustling or cattle flicking their tails," said Lewis, "but occasionally we'll pick up someone saying, 'I was totally out of the loop on that.'" Among former and current CEOs apprehended with this method were Computer Associates' Sanjay Kumar, Adelphia's John Rigas, Enron's Ken Lay, Joseph Nacchio of Qwest, Joseph Berardino of Arthur Andersen, and every Global Crossing CEO since 1997. ImClone Systems' Sam Waksal and Dennis Kozlowski of Tyco were not allowed to join the CEOnistas as they have already been indicted. So far, about 50 chief executives have been captured, including Martha Stewart, who was detained south of El Paso where she had cut through a barbed-wire fence at the Zaragosa border crossing off Highway 375. "She would have gotten away, but she was stopping motorists to ask for marzipan and food coloring so she could make edible snowman place settings, using the cut pieces of wire for the arms," said Border Patrol officer Jennette Cushing. "We put her in cell No. 7, because the morning sun really adds texture to the stucco walls." While some stragglers are believed to have successfully crossed into Mexico, Cushing said the bulk of the CEOnistas have holed themselves up at the Alamo. "No, not the fort, the car rental place at the airport," she said. "They're rotating all the tires on the mini vans and accounting for each change as a sale."

To: Rambi who wrote (18268)	7/26/2002 8:23:28 PM
From: sandintoes	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 21057

Wonderful! Very Irma Bombeck...I had to save it! Reminds me of the time a little boy visiting our house put his hand through our French door. He said he was trying to maintain the gravity in the room when suddenly his hand hit the door, and the gravity was lost. To this day, I have no idea what he was talking about, but neither did he, so it doesn't matter.

To: Rambi who wrote (18268)	7/27/2002 11:54:35 PM
From: Dayuhan	Respond to of 21057

Look on the bright side: for the rest of their lives the boys will have a ready-made excuse. "I did it because of what Bill Clinton did when I was just a boy". I wonder how many similar discussions took place at the time. An aside: I remember talking to you at one time about the unavoidable presence of Barbie in the rearing of a little girl. One of Jenny's friends came back from the US the other day, bearing several of the latest new girl-dollies, challengers to Barbie's throne. These are "Bratz"; I know this because they are heavily advertised on Cartoon Network, another unavoidable presence. They are about Barbie's height, but believe it or not, skinnier. Well into the anorexic department. They lack Barbie's extravagant mammaries, though the dimensions remain unrealistic in proportion to the rest of them. What they lack on their chests they make up for in lips, which are swollen to the point of being grotesque. If a real human had the same proportions, you'd be talking inner tubes. They are painted with faux make-up in a strange, garish, and extravagant manner that my mind associates with Las Vegas hookers (though I've never been to Las Vegas). They have molded-on platform shoes of an odd clunky variety. Is this where girl-fashion is going in the US these days, or just where some people are trying to push it? I actually got a good laugh out of them, just imagining what the reactions in the feminist camp would be. Fortunately, Jenny has lost interest in Barbie and has shown none in Bratz. I hope that condition continues to prevail. I was thinking of moving back there. Now I start to wonder....