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Strategies & Market Trends : Mr. Pink's Picks: selected event-driven value investments -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mr_X who wrote (16813)	7/31/2002 7:11:36 PM
From: Kevin Podsiadlik	Respond to of 18998

Sixty hertz if you're in America. Fifty hertz if you're in England. Vs over lambda if you're an acoustical engineer. C over lambda if you're a physicist. Every fifteen or twenty seconds with sets every ten minutes if you're a surfer. Once every two years if you're a governor. Once every four years if you're the President. Once every lifetime if you're Al Gore. Four times a day if you're normal. Four times a week if you're dehydrated. Four times an hour if you've been drinking beer. Four times a minute if you've been drinking Coors. Once or twice a day if you're normal. Once or twice a week if you're constipated. Once or twice a minute if you drink the water in Mexico. Six times a week if you're normal. Zero if you're celibate. Hand jobs don't count. Eight times a week if your SO lives down the street. Twelve times a week if your SO lives with you. Twenty times a week if your SO lives with you and your other SO lives down the street. Twenty-four times a week if both your SO's live with you. Three per session if you're normal. Zero per session if you're impotent. Zero per session if you're celibate. Hand jobs don't count. One per session if you're old. Ten per session if you're horny. Twenty-seven per session if you just finished serving four straight years on a Navy sub or a state prison. Gradually tapers to three per session. Zero if you're an unmarried Catholic. Zero if you're an unmarried Catholic with an SO. Once a year if you're an unmarried Catholic with a fiance, but it didn't really count because neither of you came, right? Once a minute for the first two weeks of a Catholic marriage. Twice a day for the first two years. Once a day for the next three years. Four times a week for the next five years. Twice a week for the next five years. Once a month with your spouse, twice a week with your lover, for the next ten years. Once every six months or so from now 'till death do you part. Once every four years if you're an Engineering major. Once every two years if you're a Physics major. Once every three weeks if you're an English major. Once every week if you're an Art major. Twice a week if you're a stripper. Three times a week if you're a high school football player. Four times a week if you're a frat boy. Four times a week if you're a sorority girl. Fifteen times a week if you're a Tri-Delt. Twenty times a week if your annual income is over $1 million. Thirty-seven times a week if you're a jigolo. Forty times a week if you're a prostitute. Forty-two times a week if you're a high school cheerleader.