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Politics : Stockman Scott's Political Debate Porch -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: elpolvo who wrote (3775)	8/2/2002 12:25:09 PM
From: Clappy	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 89467

i'm buying march03 puts on gulf WAR2. LOL! Perhaps you should buy some far out of the money Anthrax call leaps as a hedge. Or Puts on Reits that focus on property in the Jewish sections of NY... Sadamy will probably get blamed if anything happens here. Iraq is a strategic target. It's Boardwalk or Park Place on the Oil Field Monopoly Board. -DudeWithHalfEmptyOilCan P.S. I'm still looking for ways to invest in Biodiesel. I think it could be big someday. It would be a great way to eliminate the tensions over there while helping the farmers. Seems like a step in the right direction. Probably too good to be true.

To: elpolvo who wrote (3775)	8/2/2002 12:36:34 PM
From: stockman_scott	Respond to of 89467

Some common business terms: EBITDA: earnings before I tricked a damn auditor. EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering. CEO: chief embezzlement officer. CFO: corporate fraud officer. NAV: normal Anderson valuation. FRS: fantasy reporting standards. P/E: parole entitlement. EPS: eventual prison sentence. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no. MOMENTUM INVESTING -- The fine art of buying high and selling low. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER -- What my broker has made me. "BUY, BUY" -- A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- Religious guy who talks to God