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Gold/Mining/Energy : Gold Price Monitor -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: d:oug who wrote (88512)	8/3/2002 2:03:07 AM
From: Richnorth	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 116790

Along with Colombian coffee and Cuban cigars, I think 'tis time for some oldies -- sexy humor, that is, so that self-styled and pseudo-psychologists/psychiatrists can have some capital for their bouts of fantasies. Sexy Humor Question: Why is the "69" position also called the "smokers' position?" Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray. ===================================== Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation? Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!! ===================================== An old man married a young girl. On their wedding night he showed five fingers to his wife. Young girl : Ooh.. darling! 5 times? Old man : No dear, choose which one you prefer to start with....... ===================================== Man 1 : My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & says, "1st gear, 2nd gear......." Man 2 : My wife is worse, she puts my bird inside her and says, "Full Tank, please!" ===================================== Question : What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? Answer : Your salary, it comes once a month, lasts about 5-7 days, and if it doesn't come it means you are in big trouble. ========================================== Question : What is the smallest hotel in the world? Answer : It's Virginia because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant and leaves 2 baggages outside! ========================================== 2 prostitutes (bitches) were in a taxi, on their way home after work. Bitch 1 : I smell sperm!! Bitch 2 : Sorry, I burped!! =========================================== A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing them she got out of a hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to do it doggy-style!" ========================================= A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank. The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake". "Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been ...raped". ======================================= A man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra. The chemist said that it would be useless. The man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question. I just want to stop peeing on my shoes". ================================================ A secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you comment on this? "The truth is that she has a big mouth!" ========================================= A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love. She said, "Aww, so solly... exkooz me pleazo, Flont hole so happy, back hole laugh out loud. ========================================== What is common between a swimming pool and a wife? For both we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them. =============================== Love is complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it. ==================================== Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. ==================================== What's the difference between biology and sociology? When the baby looks like his dad or mom, the it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology. ===================================== What is the useless piece of flesh attached to the penis called?- The Man. ===================================== Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" had never seen a pussy before. ================================== Why is breast milk good for health? Because it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing and comes in attractive containers. ================================================= Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?" God said, "Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad". ================================== Why was two-piece bikini invented? To separate meat section from the dairy section. ================================ Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb. "No, momma," she said, "he is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every month!" ==================================