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Politics : Foreign Affairs Discussion Group -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rascal who wrote (39447)	8/22/2002 12:45:01 PM
From: stockman_scott	Respond to of 281500

We're attacking Iraq, please don't tell! By Ron Charles Commentary > Opinion from the August 22, 2002 edition The Christian Science Monitor csmonitor.com From: Director of CIA To: All Secret Agents (you know who you are) Re: Secret War Plans (shhhhhh!) The President (code name: George W.) is increasingly alarmed about leaks concerning our plans to attack a certain country in the Middle East (rhymes with "I pack"). Despite our best efforts – including wide distribution of Cap'n Crunch Decoder Rings – rumors of our intentions to change the regime of S.H. (use the ring, use the ring!) continue to appear in the press. (Plans to topple the NYT will be discussed in our next midnight meeting at the Big Oak Tree. George W. to bring s'mores.) What's more troubling, I saw on CNN (Cable [something?] Network) that members of Congress are openly debating our war plans. We cannot and will not tolerate these threats to democracy. Effective immediately – or when the little hand reaches the 9 – all agents should institute the following top-secret precautions: 1) Remove "We're Comin' to Get YOU, Saddam!" bumper stickers from all undercover automobiles and trucks. 2) When making obscene phone calls to the Iraqi Royal Palace, put a cloth over the mouthpiece to disguise your voice. 3) Discreetly float decoy stories about US plans to attack France to confuse the enemy. (IMPORTANT: Do not actually attack France without prior approval!) 4) Agents who pose as Middle East experts should remove their CIA pocket protectors when appearing on Sunday morning TV shows. (And when sending thank-you notes to the interviewer, sign your name in invisible ink.) By following these simple precautions, we can significantly reduce the level of preattack transparency and preserve the all-important element of surprise. Signed, XXX (Agents who do not receive a hard copy of this memo can read it on the FOX News Network at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m.) ___________________________________ • Ron Charles is the Monitor's book editor and an occasional satirist.

To: Rascal who wrote (39447)	8/22/2002 12:56:02 PM
From: JohnM	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 281500

Sounds like that "Dept. of Misinformation" that they said was "disbanded" is up and running. They are really managing the news cycle. It might well be and I tend to think the Rumsfeld bit yesterday and/or the day before about Al Qaeda in Iraq when we already knew that was the case, was the best indication of that. However, I don't think this is the case with Safire. Safire has the kind of sources in the CIA that Seymour Hersh has. They are very good. Different from the Pentagon sources. And Safire has a history of reading his sources well. Like all the rest of us, he can overgeneralize and has; and like all the rest of us, he can be mislead, and has. But there are few better. He's in a different business than Hersh but he knows how to handle source material as well.