Too bad there's no chair in CT.
But this is an amusing piece anyway.
Judge, for once, let's put a Kennedy* in his place
by Howie Carr
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Judge John Kavanewsky, Michael Skakel's life is in your hands today.
So give him life. Life in prison.
We all understand that life doesn't really mean ``life,'' and that under Connecticut law, even with the maximum sentence, 25 years to ``life,'' the tubby Kennedy crime family hit man could be out in about 13 years.
But what the heck, Judge. Throw the Hail Mary pass. He took away Martha Moxley's life, so you give him life.
Wipe that smirk off his smug, dissipated face. Send his slimy lawyer, Mickey Sherman, on his way to ``Larry King Live,'' where he can snivel all he wants tonight about what a good father Skakel is.
Of course, we'll never know what kind of a mother Martha Moxley would have been because Skakel bludgeoned her to death with a golf club in cold blood and then invented that insane story about climbing up in the tree and then . . . well, you know.
For once, we'd all like to see a Kennedy get what's coming to him. It was disappointing yesterday to pick up USA Today and read the headline: ``Skakel could serve less than 6 years for murder.''
Think of your sentence today as a make-up call, Judge. You know the old athletic saying: No harm, no foul. In the schoolyards the rule is: No autopsy, no foul.
The Kennedys' rule is, even if there is an autopsy, there's still no foul, at least if it was one of them who killed or raped ``some girl,'' as Ted once described his nephew's AuBar . . . date, shall we say.
You remember what Michael Skakel used to say in those ritzy drunk tanks he spent decades in? He'd say, I'm a Kennedy, I got away with murder. Technically, he's not really a Kennedy, but let's look at the record.
He killed a female, he's a rummy, he's a druggie, he's stupid, he struts around in suits he's 80 pounds too fat to be wearing, he's never worked a day in his life and he thinks he's better than everybody else.
All of which makes him, at the very least, an honorary Kennedy. A Kennedy with an asterisk. How much do you want to bet that Skakel used to shriek, at the slightest provocation, ``Do you know who I am?''
Yeah, you're the Kennedy wannabe who now, according to some sources, is getting the kid-glove treatment in prison.
Speaking of which, Judge, could you make sure Uncle Ted doesn't finagle Skakel a transfer to one of those Club Feds with a golf course? I'd hate to see him brandishing his preferred murder weapon again. How many more must die, Your Honor? How many more?
``Members of the Kennedy family,'' the USA Today story said, ``are likely to emphasize the help Skakel, a recovered alcoholic, gave his cousins in their battles with substance abuse.''
Really? Which ones did he take under his wing - David? Michael?
Judge, your sentencing today could be the beginning of a very unpleasant fall - in more ways than one - for the family.
In New York, Andrew Cuomo, Ethel's son-in-law, is trailing a black guy for the Democratic nomination for governor.
Funny how much Kennedys believe in racial quotas - until it's their turn to step aside for someone they perceive as less qualified.
And now the black guy's running mate has been outed as the father of two children born out of wedlock. The Kennedys are shocked, I tell you, shocked, at the very idea of fornication in high office.
In Rhode Island, Patches Kennedy, the runt of the runt's litter, is running scared. He's bringing in Hillary in a couple of weeks for a time in Bristol. He'll win in the end, but isn't it nice to see him sweat?
And in Maryland, Kathleen Kennedy Townsend is running neck-and-neck in the governor's race with a Republican congressman who's playing dirty - he picked a black running mate. How dare he! Doesn't he know who she is?
Ruin their Labor Day weekend, Judge. Give the fat murderer life. For once, make the Kennedys play by the same rules the rest of us do. Even if it's just a Kennedy with an asterisk.
www2.bostonherald.com |
