I love letter generators.
Everybody lock your doors, get a gun, protect yourself! Mr. Alan Greenspan is planning to ridicule the accomplishments of generations of great men and women! Some background is in order: Not only does he provide stentorian conspiracies with the necessary asylum to take root and spread, but he then commands his lackeys, "Go, and do thou likewise." He is the type of person who would shoot you just to see if his gun worked. At least, that certainly seems to be the implication in several of the accounts I've heard. I have this advice to offer: The world has changed, Mr. Greenspan; get used to it. With this in mind, I, for one, must study the problem and recommend corrective action.
While the question of who is right and who is wrong in this case is an interesting one, it is also something that I cannot and will not comment on, and not just because I want to expose injustice and puncture prejudice. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé, but because I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness -- not in a dark, insufferable world run by disorganized drunks. Although Mr. Greenspan's overt onanism has declined, a covert form still survives and may be an important factor in fueling a tendency and/or desire to biologically or psychologically engineer gormless unbalanced-types to make them even more unprofessional than they already are. Most of you reading this letter have your hearts in the right place. Now follow your hearts with actions.
Although Mr. Greenspan obviously hates my guts (and probably yours, as well), I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why Mr. Greenspan is bent on destroying humanity as we know it. My peers feel that what I really want from Mr. Greenspan is an apology. While this is sincerely true, I claim we must add that I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people. I can therefore assure you that Mr. Greenspan can get away with lies (e.g., that the sun rises just for him), because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that Mr. Greenspan is lying. Look at it from my point of view: Mr. Greenspan is trying to contaminate or cut off the world money supply. His mission? To carve out space in the mainstream for barbaric politics. It is becoming increasingly obvious to many people that whenever anyone states the obvious -- that his outrage at complaints about him is indicative of his self-esteem and value system -- discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "Is he hoping that the readers of this letter won't see the weakness of his argument relative to mine?" The only clear answer to emerge from the conflicting, contradictory stances that he and his apple-polishers take is that he stands out as the king of Planet Silly. Finally, to those of you who are faithfully helping me shelter initially unpopular truths from suppression, enabling them to ultimately win out through competition in the marketplace of ideas, let me extend, as always, my deepest gratitude and my most affectionate regards.
and then this:
I have been following the stories and comments surrounding The PPT, and frankly, I'm appalled. Whatever happened to good sportsmanship? What follows is the story of how The PPT can be so rich in the rhetoric of democracy and yet so poor in its implementation. We don't need to demonize The PPT; it is already a demon, and furthermore, it will probably never understand why it scares me so much. And The PPT does scare me: Its positions are scary, its doctrines are scary, and most of all, it can fool some of the people all of the time. It can fool all of the people some of the time. But The PPT can't fool all of the people all of the time.
I am hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why am I hurt? Because The PPT's chums say, "The most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly." Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that The PPT has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to twist our entire societal valuation of love and relationships beyond all insanity. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that it wants to palliate and excuse the atrocities of its bootlickers. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is The PPT's gossamer grasp of reality. Why am I furious? Because The PPT has -- not once, but several times -- been able to stand in the way of progress without anyone stopping it. How long can that go on? As long as its callous writings are kept on life support. That's why we have to pull the plug on them and reveal the truth about its excuses. And why am I embarrassed? Because The PPT would have us believe that it answers to no one. That, of course, is nonsense, total nonsense. But The PPT is surrounded by garrulous, muddleheaded segregationists who parrot the same nonsense, which is why if we allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by it, then the sea of Pyrrhonism, on which it so heavily relies, will begin to dry up.
If you were to tell The PPT that foul-mouthed cult leaders are deeply impressed by its guff, it'd just pull its security blanket a little tighter around itself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world. I do not have the time, in one sitting, to go into the long answer as to why identifying and naming laughable, bloodthirsty prigs is fundamentally different from using their reports as an instrument of rebellion. But the short answer is that it is a master of psychological manipulation. Let me recap that for you, because it really is extraordinarily important: Its flunkies are delighted with the potential for violent confrontation. Now, I could go off on that point alone, but it oppresses its critics by crushing them, expelling them, pauperizing them, and cutting them off from families and friends. But it goes further than that; it is stepping over the line when it attempts to dismantle the guard rails that protect society from the lecherous elements in its midst -- way over the line. Should we be concerned that The PPT wants to push all of us to the brink of insanity? I'll answer that question for you: Yes, we should undeniably be concerned, because its smears are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of sensationalism. Sorry for babbling so much, but the falsehood of the tongue leads to that of the heart. |
