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Strategies & Market Trends : Take the Money and Run -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peach who wrote (16466)	8/29/2002 4:09:25 PM
From: Original Mad Dog	Respond to of 17639

Woof! LOL

To: Peach who wrote (16466)	8/29/2002 4:15:50 PM
From: Original Mad Dog	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 17639

Peach, there's more. We have also located a transcript of President Bush's meeting with the Saudi Prince yesterday (which Cheney participated in by telephone): whitehouse.org TRANSCRIPT OF PRESIDENT BUSH'S CRAWFORD SUMMIT WITH SAUDI ARABIAN AMBASSADOR PRINCE BANDAR BIN SULTAN Formal White House Transcription == TRANSCRIPT START == PRESIDENT BUSH: Your Royal Highness Prince Bandar. Welcome to Crawford, Sir! PRINCE BANDAR: Son of Bush. PRESIDENT BUSH: You must be tired from your long journey. Can we get you anything? Some baked beans? A brisket sandwich? Perhaps one of your harem ladies would like an oxygen line inside her black canvas body bag? PRINCE BANDAR: Where is The One? PRESIDENT BUSH: Huh? Oh. Vice President Cheney's on the speaker phone. VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Prince Bandar. I apologize for not being there in person. I am safely sequestered 300 feet beneath the ranch in a specially customized, concrete-reinforced command bunker. PRINCE BANDAR: The Mark V 1500A/01 or the Mark X 1600B/02? VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: The Mark X 1600B/02. PRINCE BANDAR: Ah, yes. Saddam prefers this model also. VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Yeah, well, we bought it off the shelf, but it's totally upgraded. A real custom job. There's a soda fountain, a Jacuzzi, and a big NORAD board with blinking lights. PRESIDENT BUSH: You should see the big board, Prince Bandar! It's just like in Wargames! PRINCE BANDAR: How is Laura? PRESIDENT BUSH: Oh, she's fine. Just fine. Has a new hairdresser and she's thinking of getting highlights. How are your wives? PRINCE BANDAR: #34 has been disobedient. So I beat her face with my golf sandal and made her sleep with the pigs and their filth. #48 has just turned thirteen and is budding nicely. Otherwise, the rest of them are adequate I suppose. #'s 12-20 have been nagging recently for the new reversible veils on sale at the Riyahd Old Navy. Were it not for their experience in tag-team polishing of the royal knob, I would have filed them into a mass grave long ago. VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Lynne sends her best. PRINCE BANDAR: Never let it be said that your Christian whore is not civil. PRESIDENT BUSH: So… Prince Bandar. We've been thinking… you know… that yes, we're still thinking of invading Iraq… PRINCE BANDAR: The Arab world will not stand for such violent, narrow-minded oppression! PRESIDENT BUSH: We don't want to inflame anyone. We just want to bitch slap Saddam around for making my daddy look a whooped sissy. Where's the harm in that? Plus, we have elections coming up and stuff. So can we? C’mon… please? PRINCE BANDAR: My people have already sacrificed much in order to place your family in control of America. They will not tolerate your Western aggression. Have you not tasted enough Muslim blood?! PRESIDENT BUSH: No! It's not like that, Prince. Cross my heart and hope to die, man. I love you guys. Ever since I was a little kid running around your palace, stuffing dates up camel coochies. I mean – those were some good times! You guys – I told the Crown Prince this when he stopped by back in April – you guys are my “eternal friends”. Like, my forever buds… closer than my DEKE brothers after a juicy circle jerk! VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Can I… can I cut in here? PRESIDENT BUSH: Yes, sir. VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Prince Bandar: We're invading Iraq, executing Hussein, and installing a puppet government state controlled by Exxon-Mobil and Halliburton. We can promise you and the House of Saud 25% net on all export revenues generated on Iraqi crude. We ship it to you raw from Iraq's fields, you process it, barrel it, and we ship from existing plants on your soil. You tax it all you want. Tariffs, whatever. And we can talk about the backend later. I figure we have four solid years of uninterrupted business to conduct before the UN catches wind. So what do you say? PRINCE BANDAR: 50% VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Prince Bandar! PRINCE BANDAR: DO NOT ANGER MOHAMMED! VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: 35%? PRINCE BANDAR: JIHAD! JIHAD X 10! VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: 45%? PRINCE BANDAR: Will the New Iraq be a constitutional democracy or a parliamentary one? PRESIDENT BUSH: Good question. Which one are we again? VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Don't worry, Prince. So long as we conspire to keep oil around 30 bucks a barrel, we won't have to talk about the “Big D”. PRINCE BANDAR: Phew. VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: You're telling me! PRINCE BANDAR: Very well. This is an acceptable arrangement. I wish to have my toenails clipped now, Son of Bush. PRESIDENT BUSH: It is my pleasure, your royal highness! PRINCE BANDAR: Do not neglect to be generous with the Aloe Vera butter. Slather, how do you say, copiously. === END OF TRANSCRIPT ===