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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (56406)	9/1/2002 7:24:17 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

CH it made so little sense to me, I didn't even know what she was talking about. The way she described things, I am thinking back to the peaceful chummy days when we attacked other people, instead of each other. Of course it was a set up, and it would have been a darned good one, if E hadn't actually been harassing me. That kind of weakens the whole thing- imo. But that, of course, is just my opinion.

To: The Philosopher who wrote (56406)	9/1/2002 8:46:09 PM
From: E	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

I can understand why that puzzles you and may puzzle others. This is the best I can do to explain. I actually wrote the PM to Rambi. One of those gut-spilling things. A sad development that isn't public, but which involved a number of SI people, occurred. A thing that happened (sorry, I have to be elliptical and generic) upset me terribly. X was directly involved. I had what I called in my PM to Rambi, and N identified for me, an "injustice" reaction. High stress, very upset, not proportionately to what had occurred. I talked to N about it for a long time. Part of my PM to Rambi was a specific, concrete description of some childhood experiences, and family dynamics, that N and I think explained why I got so upset. Part of it was explicating why in "real life" I did feel an injustice was occurring, any neurotically extreme distress-reaction of mine notwithstanding. Whatever was in my mind sharing it with X? This is how I think that happened: First, I was upset and angry at X for a thing that had happened. And because X and I had once been friends, and because the logistics had involved civil, cooperative exchanges between us that I suppose put me in a time-warp mindset or something, I just had this idea that.... Well, anyway. I sent her a note and excerpts from the private communication I'd written to Rambi. I don't want to characterize it specifically more than I have. I wanted X to understand why I was upset and why I thought ill of her for something she had done, which I did, and made clear. Why in "real life" I felt an injustice had occurred, and why, N and I had figured out, I cared so much in psychological terms. (The childhood stuff. Which can of course make one look foolish, talking openly about. It's a risk.) Sending it to her was obviously poor judgment. But it never in my wildest dreams would have ever occur to me that she would paste that PM to others, and talk about it. It was very private. Such an idea was simply inaccessible to me. So judgment wasn't exercised with that possibility anywhere in the picture. The above explains how that happened as best I can explain it without saying too much. I am aware you can use this against me. I hope you won't. It seemed a fair and sincere question.