To: J. C. Dithers who wrote (57101 ) 9/6/2002 9:14:13 PM From: Lane3 Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 82486 I think it is a commendable act of good faith to go with the belief that what you see here, alias or not, is the real person, albeit not fully fleshed out. Some others of us may be inclined to be cynical and skeptical about taking what we read here at face value insofar as it reflects the true person behind the alias. I don't see why it has to be either/or. In all our venues we have a mixture of trust and caution. We are cautious about some things at work that we wouldn't be in a bar or on SI, like acknowledging illness. We are cautious about things on SI that we trust without question at the office, for example, that people have the careers that they claim to have. Of course people can claim to be something other than what they are here on SI. Some of what they say we can cross check and some we can't. In some they may have motive to lie, in others they probably wouldn't bother. Our little league coach, Joe, may tell people that he works for IBM when, in fact, he was let go months ago and is out of work. And he may tell the folks at work untrue stories about his accomplishments as a coach. An anecdote from many decades ago just popped into my mind. I was visiting the mail room chatting about stocks with the guy who worked there and was closer to the phone when it rang so I answered it "mail room." He was all upset. The call was from his broker, whom he had lead to believe he had some more prestigious job. And then there are the millions of men who have told women that they weren't married. Yeah, it's easier to present a false picture here than in some other venues of one's life, but not all. I really think you're making too much of the difference. Sure there are some charlatans, but they are in all venues. I am not questioning your caution. I'm just trying to point out that the need for caution isn't appreciably greater here vs. elsewhere. It's just different. As it is different from 3D venue to 3D venue. I remember, a long time ago, my mother expressed concern that I was dating a black man. It wasn't that she had a problem with that but she was concerned for my reputation with others who may have a problem with it. I remember clearly what I told her. First of all, I didn't give a damn about people who would have a problem with that. And more to the point here, that if it did turn out to be a problem, I could change jobs and move a few miles away and start fresh. No, you can't do that in a small town like my mother's, but you can do that here. You can reinvent yourself easily or live multiple lives in the big city. Just as easily as you can on SI, maybe more easily. Or, if push comes to shove, you can move to a new city where no one knows you. I still think you're making too much of the difference. The real problem is not that this is so different from other venues but that people sometimes lose track of which venue they are in and behave inappropriately or in a risky manner.