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Strategies & Market Trends : Technical Analysis for Macintosh Users -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: PuddleGlum who wrote (911)	9/20/2002 7:10:39 AM
From: LastShadow	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 1541

Here are some revised financial definitions based upon the language of our New Economy. EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering. CEO: chief embezzlement officer. CFO: corporate fraud officer. NAV: normal Anderson valuation. P/E: parole entitlement. EPS: eventual prison sentence. BULL MARKET-A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET-A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. MOMENTUM INVESTING-The fine art of buying high and selling low. VALUE INVESTING-The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER-What my broker has made me. "BUY, BUY"-A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. STANDARD & POOR-Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST-Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT-When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER-A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes. MARKET CORRECTION-The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW-The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO-What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR-Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.