To: maceng2 who wrote (195300 ) 10/4/2002 4:20:25 PM From: maceng2 Respond to of 436258 Best jokes from each country. I hope you approve the USA's selection -g- /edit. Sorry I intended to post this post to MythMan.timesonline.co.uk Humour round the globe Canada When Nasa first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C. The Russians used a pencil. Scotland I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers. Belgium Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks. Germany (no, really) A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it.” England Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams: “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells: “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad, you’re drunk.” France An alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” “But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.” The United States A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local course. One of the guys is about to chip on to the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the fairway. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years