To: Lane3 who wrote (61223 ) 10/5/2002 10:07:06 AM From: epicure Read Replies (1) | Respond to I have been trying to get my mother to be a little more Randian, because her concept of ethical behavior has made her unhappy all her life. She tends to do something for other people, but with the EXPECTATION that they will pay her back. IMO that is just setting yourself up for disappointment. Sometimes people do "pay you back", but to keep a moral record book and expect it, is to court serious unhappiness, which of course, she does. It does not seem rational to me to do things which you will regret, no matter who expects it of you, nor does it seem logical to do things you really do not want to do, but think you might be able to collect on later. My mother works on this system, and kind of on Neo's system of duties (coming from I know not where), and it never made her happy. In fact is made her very unhappy for her entire life. It turned her into the kind of person who would always say "So and So really SHOULD have done such and such for me, BECAUSE I did ......for them" Of course the So and So probably had forgotten what my mother did for him or her, and probably never realized what my mother wanted (because along with everything else my mother expects people to be able to read minds). I feel great compassion for my mom. I wish she'd lived a happier life.
