To: Ilaine who wrote (43412 ) 10/30/2002 2:54:13 PM From: IQBAL LATIF Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 50167 <>Taliban “a bunch of opium-induced fanatics” and Osama Bin Laden “a raving loony” Zachary Latif speaks at a seminar... The Pakistani Society Having been shorn from Pakistan for the past three years I decided that I would reconnect with my country by attend the meetings of the Pakistani society. In my usual fashion I promptly brushed aside the arguments of my brothers and Indians friends who stated that these meetings were nothing more than a front for Islamic fundamentalists. Indeed in my show of bi-partisan cooperation towards a peaceful sub-continent I invited two of my Indian friends to join however both quietly yet firmly refused my offer. Meandering along I visited the Lecture Hall and was intrigued to see the topic, “Is Democracy the solution to Pakistan’s Woes”. I was awed by the professionalism since the word “woe” must mean that they are going to conduct a deep introspection into the nature of Pakistani society. Even more surprising the lecture began only twenty minutes after schedule, a record for Pakistanis since our vocabulary does not have words for “punctuality”, “efficiency” and “organization”. Of course I was slightly suspicious of the beards in the room, some of which were longer than Rumpenzel’s hair. Indeed the gender ratio was heavily tilted against the fairer sex, with only a single girl (fully veiled) who isolated herself from the rest of the audience by seating herself in the last row. Though I also reserved a seat for myself in the back of the room I could hear that the drift of the conversation was overtly religious. There was a particularly amusing instance when someone analogized the state of human kind to that of a mobile phone and sanctimoniously stated that just as a mobile phone could only be repaired by its maker so to humans could only be made whole again by their Creator. Of course during his rhetoric I was wondering how microscopic unicellular prokaryotic organisms could actually restore the ruined continent of Africa or strengthen the fragile European Union. In any case these latent doubts culminated into outright hostility the second the speaker ascended to the podium. He began to pray (which was rather asinine since this was a Pakistani gathering not an Islamic one) and what was hilarious was during this sanctified ritual he was stumbling throughout (despite the fact that I am not a Muslim I at least know the words to the namaz or the qui-daily Islamic prayer) and had to actually ask the mediator for the correct pronunciations & syntax...contd........... >>>>>>>>>>>>>...............The speaker challenged me that since I considered America to be such a “beacon of light” how come Afghanistan has remained neglected since its invasion. Whilst I rebutted this question with ease (I stated that the collapse of the Taliban allowed a reversion to freedom, albeit laced with anarchism, for all Afghans) a niggling doubt within my mind was created about whether America’s attack of Afghanistan actually ensued in tangible material development or were the peripheral regions merely left to the local warlords. In any case I had decidedly won the argument when the mediator stopped me in my tracks (no surprise his beard was longer than that of Osama’s) and directed questions elsewhere. After a few more questions, including another one by the peculiar gentleman who was protesting the Punjabi establishment, the mediator announced that only two more questions could be asked further. Thereupon a young Muslim gentleman felt “that his obligation as a Muslim made it incumbent upon him to comment over what he heard in the recent exchange”. In direct reference to my previous statements he replied that my epithet to America as the “beacon of light” was inherently flawed since I was measuring its greatness in terms of technology. He further went on to state that by my standard of values then even Hitler’s Germany could be considered a great state since it was materially advanced. He made an even greater leap of logic with his following statement, Wait for it…….. “even non-Muslims would consider Hitler’s Germany to be an Evil Empire”. Even non-Muslims! Of course I agree that a mere non-Muslim cannot aspire to the height of Muslim morality since sniping in Maryland, hijacking in Moscow and bombing in Bali requires a highly attenuated spiritual morality that is innate only to Muslims. When he finally finished his harangue I was about to remind him of the historical facts of World War 2 (I don’t remember Muslims brigades capturing Hitler’s bunker rather it was those led by the “kuffars*****”, the endearing and operative term used by the audience and speaker to denote non-Muslims) when the mediator cried out “that is the end of questioning”. Very well knowing that he had deliberately closed the session to prevent me from launching into a comprehensive rebuttal (only one question had been asked and there was time for another) I took his consternation as a moral victory. .................latif.blogspot.com