John Kerry’s unfortunate start.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?
By Bill Whalen -- December 5, 2002
nationalreview.com
It was quite a week for Senator John F. Kerry.
Last Sunday, the Massachusetts Democrat ended what little speculation remained regarding his presidential ambitions by announcing on Meet the Press that he was forming an exploratory committee to raise money for a possible White House run.
Two days later, Kerry was out on the campaign trail — Cleveland, Ohio, to be precise — trying to distance himself from his party's tax-and-spend Left. Among the ideas Kerry floated in an economics address: Eliminate the capital-gains tax on the first $100 million of stock issued by tech companies (California pandering); provide a one-year rebate on the payroll tax (that'll play in Iowa and New Hampshire).
The problem was, the more Kerry tried to look and sound presidential, one question kept getting in the way. It had nothing to do with the candidate's service in Vietnam (Kerry's a decorated Navy vet who famously discarded his medals on the steps of the U.S. Capitol), nor anything to do with his work as a U.S. senator or lieutenant governor. But it has everything to do with his chances of unseating George W. Bush.
That question: "Senator, who does your hair?"
As reported first by Matt Drudge, then later by the mainstream press, Kerry is a regular at Washington's Christophe salon — yes, the same Christophe who tied up LAX in knots back in 1993 by attending to Bill Clinton's coif while Air Force One was parked on the airport's tarmac. According to Drudge, the senator pays $150 for the services of Isabelle Goetz, who also happens to be Hillary Clinton's stylist.
That wasn't quite true, it was later clarified. Kerry does frequent Christophe's, but he's charged a mere $75 for a shampoo and style (so much for Democrats championing gender equity). And contrary to fast-spreading rumors, Kerry's hair (he turns 59 next week) isn't dyed or tinted, his office explained in a written statement. However, there's no word yet as to why Kerry isn't a regular at the Senate's barbershop, where haircuts go for a more respectable $15.
So why all the fuss over a story that may be an annoyance, but is hardly cause for a politician to tear out his hair? Because, for a candidate of contradictions like John Kerry, it's the sort of image disconnect that could haunt him in the snap-judgment world of presidential politics.
The Kerry presidential boomlet is based on simple calculations: Al Gore is a weak frontrunner; the candidate's Massachusetts roots stretch into New Hampshire; his Vietnam experience provides instant credibility and inoculation with regard to foreign policy and homeland security; a senator from Massachusetts with the initials JFK, plus a national convention in Boston in 2004, equals Democratic kismet.
That's the dream. Now, the reality.
Kerry's prospects rest on a shaky foundation. He's a candidate running, in great part, on sacrifice and a blood-and-guts past — he wants you to know he paid his dues in 'Nam.
But what happens when the past collides with a current life of luxury? Married to Teresa Heinz, widow of the late Sen. John Heinz and principal heir to a food fortune once estimated at $860 million, John Kerry doesn't live paycheck-to-paycheck, as the visits to Christophe attest. He may have discovered his inner man "in country," but today that he kicks back in urban splendor: a mansion in Georgetown; a six-floor brownstone on Beacon Hill.
It's a striking contradiction — maybe an accident waiting to happen — and it presents at least three challenges for the Democratic candidate.
First, while presidential runs require years of planning, they can instantly implode when the public's first impression of a candidate is that he's not a regular guy. Democrats, in particular, have learned this the hard way. Joe Biden never recovered after he was forced to admit that he had plagiarized Neil Kinnock. Well before Donna Rice, Gary Hart struggled with revelations that he had changed his last name, his handwriting style, and for some creepy reason was mimicking John F. Kennedy by likewise sticking his hand in his jacket flap. In the past election, Al Gore didn't help his chances by shifting from too-tight jeans to earth tones, suits then open-collared shirts. A candidate uncertain of his clothes isn't comfortable in his own skin.
If part of the Kerry strategy is to work the VFW halls of Iowa and New Hampshire, he won't find too many fellow vets who get their hair "styled," much less pay $75 for the experience. Even worse, Christophe ties Kerry directly into the dysfunctional world of Bill and Hillary. It won't take much work for Leno and Letterman to turn that connection into a cavalcade of jokes, or some cartoonist to sketch Kerry and Hillary seated next to each other under hairdryers.
Problem two: Kerry's wife is a source of wealth, and perhaps a myriad of headaches — like Hillary, a source of bad vibes. Last June, the widow Heinz and her husband sat down with the Washington Post. What should have been a flattering profile backfired when Kerry's wife launched into an angry tirade against Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum, and made fun of her husband's Vietnam nightmares. Perhaps not coincidentally, Chris Black, a former CNN correspondent and Boston Globe reporter, was soon hired to be Teresa Heinz's media handler. Born in Mozambique, Teresa Heinz speaks five languages. It remains to be seen if she's conversant in the language of a non-controversial candidate's wife.
Problem three: Kerry may be genetically incapable of overcoming problems 1 and 2. He's not the first Democrat to want you to focus on his past. Jack Kennedy rode PT-109 to the White House. Bill Clinton sold America on the image of the humble "Man From Hope" when in fact he grew up in middle-class comfort in the far-tawdrier Hot Springs.
The difference, of course, is Kennedy and Clinton were charmers, whereas Kerry's personality vacillates between gray and grim. As the Washington Post Howard Kurtz writes, "To put it mildly, Kerry has a warmth problem. He recites his positions but doesn't tell any folksy stories, doesn't connect, doesn't seem to be speaking from the heart." Kerry needs to get in touch with Clinton — not for hair-care tips, but to learn how to become a more endearing candidate. Thus he can win the Democrats' first primary: becoming the media's darling.
Of course, the real primaries are more than a year away. That's plenty of time to see if John Kerry's visits to Christophe will cause any lasting damage to his candidacy.
For now, only his hairdresser knows.
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