NFL Notes: It's All Brenda's Fault
by Senior Editor - Rick Kamla, Fanball.com
Wednesday, January 8, 2003
Don’t you hate it when a meddling spouse comes between a pair of good friends?
Well, that’s exactly what is happening in St. Louis, where Brenda Warner (the Yoko Ono of football) is driving a wedge between Rams’ coach Mike Martz and two-time MVP Kurt Warner.
This whole mess stems from confusion over an X-ray Warner had on his pummeled right hand. According to several published sources, Warner had his hand examined only because his wife Brenda, a former nurse, insisted. Martz would tell you differently if asked about who ordered the X-ray.
According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Martz was hurt when Warner did not apologize after Brenda called a radio station to question the coach’s honesty over who ordered the X-ray. To this day, Warner and Martz have different versions about who ordered the test and hard feelings remain on both sides.
What’s going on here? Feelings hurt? I thought the only things that got hurt in football were body parts and pride. Is this the NFL football or Sallie Jesse Raphael?
A larger question -- and the only one that really matters -- is what the heck is wrong with Warner?
When queried by Post-Dispatch columnist Bernie Miklasz, Martz said Warner hasn’t been the same in throwing deep since spraining his right thumb in the 2001 opener. The coach also fears Warner has injured his right rotator cuff from changing his delivery to compensate for multiple hand injuries.
(Hate to say we told you so, but I was saying Warner was damaged goods in October 2001, when it was perfectly clear Warner had nothing on his deep balls.)
Warner is on vacation right now, undoubtedly spending quality time with the meddling Brenda. Upon returning, Warner will become one with the MRI machine, as the Rams try to ascertain exactly what is wrong with his right hand and shoulder. Hey, why not check out his elbow as well?
If the tests come back negative, and if Warner and Martz can spend some quality time mending their fractured relationship, there is a good chance the Rams will pay Warner the $6 million roster bonus he’s due on March 1. Word out of St. Louis is that Warner believes he has lost the support of Martz, so in addition to trainers, Warner might also want to summon the services of a relationship counselor if he wants the six extra large.
However, if the tests on Warner’s shoulder (and/or hand) come back positive, there may be no need to repair the relationship, as it’s doubtful the Rams would hand over $6 mill to a quarterback with a floppy shoulder and oatmeal hand. Should this be the case, the Rams could either release Warner or restructure his deal in order to trade him.
With 2002 Team MVP Marc Bulger coming off a Warner-esque debut season, the Rams don’t necessarily need Brenda’s husband anymore. I’m not saying they should simply trash the former-Super Bowl MVP, but it does appear that the Rams have “hand” in this relationship.
Bulger, who still is rehabbing a back injury that is not expected to cost him any offseason practice time, threw for 1,826 yards with 14 touchdowns and six interceptions for an NFL-leading 101.5 passer rating. Bulger was the starter in six of the Rams’ seven victories and his 1,496 yards in the first five games ranks as the best such start in NFL history.
Given Warner’s rag arm, the enormous roster bonus, Bulger’s bodacious beginning, and Brenda’s poisonous presence, the good money appears to be on Martz and Warner filing for divorce sometime in the next two months.
Might Mike Shanahan catch Warner on the rebound?
As Sallie Jesse might say: Stay tuned.
Random Observations
-- Is it just me, or was the Brett Favre-retirement talk the biggest non-story of the year? He’s Brett Favre. You know…the linebacker in a quarterback’s body…the toughest player of his generation…one of the all-time greats regardless of position? Just because a 33-year-old man drops the word “retirement” doesn’t necessarily mean he’s losing sleep over a decision to hang ‘em up. Unless he suffers a debilitating injury (which seems impossible after watching him survive last year’s knee-pretzeling sack), Favre will be Green Bay’s leader for at least two more years. Please, move on with your lives. There are much bigger issues to ponder, such as whether the Black Crowes are going to break up. (One wonders if, like Brenda, Kate Hudson isn’t driving her own wedge between the Brothers Robinson. Hmmm…)
-- I love how everyone so succinctly second-guesses head coach Jim Fassel and punter/holder Matt Allen and referee Ron Winter for botching the final play of Sunday’s playoff masterpiece between the Giants and 49ers. I was having a hard time organizing my thoughts after four hours of spine-tingling action, and I was sitting on my couch giving Jameson (my rottweiler) the ‘ole behind-the-ear, how-much-do-you-love-me rub. Imagine how hard -- in the wake of numerous fights, 892 yards of offense, and 77 points -- it would have been to remember to remind your holder to call a timeout if the snap is bad or call the timeout after the bad snap or remember a lineman declaring himself eligible four hours after he did so. There is plenty of blame to go around, and far be it for me to let Fassel, Allen, and Winter completely off the hook for not doing their jobs, but if Jeremy Shockey wraps up his second TD of the day in the third quarter, the Giants go up by 28 points and su! bsequently travel to Tampa. Oh yeah, about the 12-4 Buccaneers…at home…after two weeks to rest and prepare. Bottom line: The point is moot because neither the 49ers nor Giants are equipped to leave the peninsula with a W.
-- As we approach this week’s divisional round games, it would not surprise me if: Mike Vick pulls off another “miracle”; Donovan McNabb struggles in his first game back; Chad Pennington completes a Hail Mary pass (from 29 yards out); the Titans and Steelers fail to reach 100 rushing yards -- combined; Jeff Chandler misses a potential game-winning field goal in a classic what-goes-around-comes-around moment; and the Raiders defeat the Jets in a low-scoring, field-goal fest.
Rick Kamla can be reached at rkamla@fanball.com |
