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Pastimes : The Boxing Ring Revived -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TimF who wrote (4122)	1/23/2003 4:23:39 PM
From: TimF	Respond to of 7720

The article says that he is bipolar, but it seems to me that he might also be scitzophrenic or at least something else in addition to being bi-polar. Tim

To: TimF who wrote (4122)	1/23/2003 5:37:52 PM
From: one_less	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 7720

That is frustrating. One thing that is not commonly understood, is that when one member of the family is mentally ill, the other members are just as effected by the illness as the sick person. In the snap shot of this case we see how the father is almost held hostage by the illness as much as the son. The father worries and feels helpless seeing that his son will be irreparably damaged at some point. So far the ability of the father to function as a normal citizen is still in tact. I know of a husband and wife situation that is similar. It goes to another level. The wife had anxiety episodes (the clinical label changes depending on the doctor) in which she would end up in a rage and sometimes be hospitalized for a severe panic attack. The husband had lived with this for several years. He loved her and had learned to deal with the episodes when they erupted. She had lost several teaching jobs for unsatisfactory performance. Her coworkers described her informally as just too difficult to work with. 911 could be called and there were medical services available. She was under medical and psychological treatment but changed Drs every couple of months because she didn't think they were using the right approach. Average 4 changes per year. In laymens terms one of the Drs had said, she is an extreme control freak. She demands things be perfect and under her control and when she feels they aren't it causes panic. During one of these episodes, the husband was getting the children out of the house and the wife called 911, accusing him of kidnapping and assault. By the time the police arrived she was totally enraged and accused him of beating her within an inch of her life. The husband was drug off in cuffs and charged and jailed. When he asked to make a statement, the police told him that they neither needed or wanted his information. The original charges were later dropped. The wife and the husband could not reconcile. The wife was surrounded by victims advocacy agencies encouraging her to take further action. The kids could witness to the events and all persons who knew the family could testify to the good character of the husband and the mental illness of the wife. But there was never a court case. The DA, acting in response to victims advocacy, attached a charge of harrassment; which, in this case was indefensible. The DAs position was that anything you do that could be seen as provoking another person is harrassment (in the case of your article, the Father would have qualified in several instances). So, the husband pled guilty to harrassment, was given probation, community service, and was required to attend domestic violence classes for a year. He was given a restraint order from going home. He lost his private home business over it. The wife is no longer able to aquire work do to the over shadowing bad history at previous jobs. The husband is under court orders to provide huge spousal maintenance payments anyway. Where as, the family had once been living in the upper middle income level he is now deeply in debt, unable to pay past taxes. He has nothing left to support his kids through college and such, and is pretty much living on charity from family and friends at a subsistance level. The husband had a long history of non-violence. Never struck another person, spanked a kid, or anything. He is known as a mellow person. Up until the arrest incident he was frequently praised for being a patient person extraordinaire. Since the marital estrangement, his wife has gotten worse and is vengeful. He finds that he has to respond to new allegations from her on almost a weekly basis. Of course false but the system treats each one as though there were no history. Because of the harrassment charge the legal system has him marked as a domestic violence perpetrator and he has trouble even renting an apartment as a result.