To: JohnM who wrote (68820 ) 1/26/2003 12:29:46 AM From: LindyBill Respond to of 281500 George Will has come up with a great "Diversity Test" No more points need to be added. The university should promote diversity of thought by asking all applicants the following 15 questions, awarding each applicant 10 points for each diversity-enhancing answer (150 points being a perfect Diversity Quotient): 1. The Supreme Court's principal function is (a) to wield the Constitution as a living document to right all wrongs or (b) to protect the Second Amendment. 2. Do you wish to enroll in UM's ROTC program? 3. U.S. policy toward Iraq should be: (a) give peace a chance or (b) pave it. 4. The UM Wolverines' athletic budget ($54 million) (a) is too small or (b) should be contributed to Greenpeace. 5. True or False: Ohio State is part of the axis of evil. 6. Were you home-schooled? 7. Do you watch Fox News Channel? 8. America's coolest anchorman is (a) Tom Brokaw, (b) Dan Rather, (c) Peter Jennings or (d) Brit Hume. 9. Do you read National Review while listening to Rush Limbaugh? 10. Can you tell the difference between the New York Times front page and its editorial page? 11. The most socially beneficial development in America in the last three decades was (a) Roe v. Wade, (b) the University of Michigan speech code or (c) ESPN. 12. America's worst failing is (a) racism, (b) sexism, (c) inequality, (d) imperialism or (e) respect for the United Nations. 13. Given a choice, would you own (a) an environmentally friendly hybrid car or (b) a Ford F-150 pickup? 14. Who is the more plausible president: (a) Martin Sheen of "The West Wing," (b) John Edwards of North Carolina or (c) any of the Dixie Chicks? 15. The Miller Lite ad in which the "tastes great" woman and the "less filling" woman duke it out in a bodice-ripping cat fight is (a) fascistic phallocentrism or (b) a hoot. Dear applicant, if your answers optimize your Diversity Quotient (b, yes, b, a, true, yes, yes, who are those first three guys?, yes, you're kidding -- right?, c, e, b, c, b), well, then: Welcome to Ann Arbor, you wonderful addition to Wolverine diversity.