To: SirRealist who wrote (85091 ) 3/5/2003 10:11:20 AM From: Mark Konrad Respond to *OT*Some funnies at the expense of France (purely humor, no offense intended):
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks
it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain
"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
---- Hannibal Lecter
While speaking to the Hoover Institution today, Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
was asked this question: "Could you tell us why to date at least the
Administration doesn't favor direct talks with the North Korean government?
After all, we're talking with the French."
The Secretary smiled and replied: "I'm not going there!"
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
behind me."
--- General George S. Patton
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
accordion."
----Jed Babbin
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
---- Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin
"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better,
on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in
Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than
sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)
"Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France."
An old saying:
Raise your right hand if you like the French....
Raise both hands if you are French.
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates
America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
----Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam
out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of
France!"
---Jay Leno
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris
under a German flag."
--David Letterman
REPLACEMENTS FOR THE FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM:
"Runaway" by Del Shannon,
"Walk Right In" by the Rooftop Singers,
"Everybody's Somebody's Fool" by Connie Francis,
"Running Scared" by Roy Orbison,
"I Really Don't Want to Know" by Tommy Edwards,
"Surrender" by Elvis Presley,
"Save It For Me" by The Four Seasons,
"Live and Let Die" by Wings,
"I'm Leaving It All Up To You" by Donny and Marie Osmond,
"What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers,
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin
"Raise Your Hands" by Jon Bon Jovi
