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Pastimes : Meet the GIVES! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: sandintoes who wrote (5616)	3/13/2003 1:35:44 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 6378

I NOTICED THAT! Why don't sharks bite lawyers? Professional courtesy. ........................................................... Mary reported for jury duty and immediately asked to be excused because she was prejudiced. “I took one look at those shifty eyes and that sleazy polyester suit and I knew that he was guilty as sin.” “Sit down,” said the judge. “That is the prosecuting attorney.” ............................................................. A Brooklyn lawyer, a used car salesman and a banker were gathered by a coffin containing the body of an old friend. In his grief, one of the three said, “In my family, we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they’ll have something to spend over there.” They all agreed that this was appropriate. The banker dropped a hundred dollar bill into the casket, and the car salesman did the same. The lawyer took out the bills and wrote a check for $300. ............................................................ How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? How many can you afford? ........................................................... What's the difference between a law firm and a circus? At a circus, the clowns don't charge the public by the hour. .......................................................... Q. What's wrong with lawyer jokes? A. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

To: sandintoes who wrote (5616)	3/13/2003 1:55:07 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 6378

At a New England society dinner some years ago, Mark Twain had just finished a piquant address when Mr. Evarts arose, shoved both of his hands down into his trousers’ pockets, as was his habit and laughingly remarked: “Doesn’t it strike this company as a little unusual that a professional humorist should be funny?” Mark Twain waited until the laughter excited by this sally had subsided, and then drawled out: “Doesn’t it strike this company as a little unusual that a lawyer should have his hands in his own pockets?”