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Strategies & Market Trends : Galapagos Islands -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: stomper who wrote (32611)3/14/2003 4:29:15 PM
From: Augustus Gloop  Respond to of 57110
 
Advice to Men

if you want someone who will never come when you
call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the
place, walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to
eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure
her happiness, then my friend

Get Married



To: stomper who wrote (32611)3/14/2003 5:05:49 PM
From: SmoothSail  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 57110
 
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For
some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a one warning light-"This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation".

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.