To: Gut Trader who wrote (231451 ) 3/26/2003 10:35:13 PM From: Les H Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 436258 Federal Reserve places order for Plunge Protection Device... Super Onanism Machine rubs the lonely the right way By Ryann Connell Staff Writer March 26, 2003 "Look Ma, no hands!" may well one day be the catch call of those who prefer their own handiwork when it comes to relieving sexual urges thanks to the development of SOM, according to Asahi Geino (4/3). SOM is an acronym for Super Onanism Machine and its inventors claim it's the first powered sex aid capable of moving vertically as well as horizontally without needing a guiding hand from the user. What's more, the SOM is also unisex and has apparently been selling like hotcakes since hitting the market late last year. "It took us three years to finally make the SOM from the time we first thought of it. Just the mold alone cost us 20 million yen. We've taken out a patent on it in Japan and have applied for patents overseas. We'll eventually get around to exporting it overseas," a technician from Goodsland, the company that developed the SOM, tells Asahi Geino. For guys, SOM is like an artificial vagina placed atop a stand that resembles the bottom of a fan. The man should lather himself with a lubricant before inserting. He can adjust the speed at which the SOM moves with a controller attached to the main body of the instrument by an extendable cord. "The controller can also be used as a vibrator to give one more place a sensuous feeling. We thought of a lot of different types of surface we could use inside. We had our employees give the SOM a test to determine the correct length, depth and speed of the vertical movements. The best types have all been incorporated in the final product," the SOM developer tells Asahi Geino. SOM is detachable, making it easy to wash. New options such as a rippled type and another offering greater depth are also in the pipeline. SOM is powered only by normal household batteries, yet its pistons still manage to work at incredible speeds and it frequently ensures a quick finish. SOM's women version has also proved to be a hit. "Merely looking at it is enough to make you feel good," author Miaki Sakamoto, a self-professed fan of adult toys, gushes to Asahi Geino. "It's more difficult for women to masturbate, so the SOM could be a good introductory tool." Goodsland spin doctors are pleased with SOM sales so far. "Since going on the market in December, things have progressed reasonably well. By the end of February, we'd sold 2,000 units of both versions. At 39,800 yen apiece, some people may say the SOM is a little expensive, but we're confident people will get their money's worth," a Goodsland employee tells Asahi Geino. "We've had people who've bought the SOM come up to us and say, 'This is what we have been waiting for.' "mdn.mainichi.co.jp