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To: Richnorth who wrote (94455)	4/8/2003 11:59:27 PM
From: d:oug	Respond to of 116972

44. Reduce the amount of E.Chatters in your diet.

To: Richnorth who wrote (94455)	4/9/2003 1:28:30 AM
From: E. Charters	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 116972

Fity More ways to live to be 100 1. Smoke 2. drink whiskey, coffee and tea in considerable quantities. 3. Fornicate at will 4. Use foul language freely 5. Let wind at public gatherings 6. Masturbate if at all possible. 7. Eat greasy foods copiously 8. Abhor exercise 9. Shoot at your neighbours across fences 10. Accumulate scrap iron in your backyard 11. Do not bathe. 12. Bathe naked in a galvanized washtub in the backyard under a full moon. 13. Never throw newspapers out. 14. Never rake leaves except for relaxation. 15. Keep a polecat under your front porch. 16. Let your dog breed with neighbours and their dogs. 17. Disagree with most people except when they give you money. 18. Do not pay bills. 19. Wear rubber boots to all social functions. 20. Snore loudly during concerts and at all recitals and public gatherings. 21. Take time to find fault with other people's children and let their parents know it reflects on their breeding as well. 22. Horde all your money in a jar or coffee can stored in your hovel. 23. When government, banks, politics lawyers, or religion are mentioned roar curses at the speaker, and say that they are all crooks. 24. Only support and recognize as humanity lifeforms that are Closely aligned with your DNA pattern. 25. Only recognize or use implements, tools, or machinery that are no less than 1/2 as old as you are. 26. Throw rocks at strangers. 27. Invite all strangers in for tea. 28. Feign ignorance of all financial matters. 29. Cut all relatives out of your will. 30. Mistrust all people in professions, unless it is absolutely necessary. Let them know it, but allow that it is not personal. 31. Leave all your money to your pets. 32. Complain frequently about and to youth and let them know that they are wasting their life and being sheep to fashion. 33. Complain frequently about all government and social mores. 34. complain constantly about aches and pains. 35. Tell yarns ad infinitum. Start with "in my day" 36. Tell people who will not volunteer for the army that they do not deserve to live in the country. 37. Tell people that volunteer for the army that they are brainless and will be bereft of all reward. Tell them to avoid all duty if at all possible. 38. Tell people that you don't hate anyone and people in other land are just fine. 39. Tell people that you don't trust anyone, and everyone else is out to get us. 40. Be miserly 41. Be bitter 42. Be generous to a fault, especially with time. 43. Smile all the time and hum to yourself 44. Scowl at everyone. 45. Pat all children on the head and call them darling. 46. Call all men "sonny." 47. Keep your pants held up with twine. 48. Hold all text at arms length while wearing bifocals. 49 Comment loudly about lower bone structure, muscular development and adipose tissue of good looking young women when they pass by. If female, pretend you notice youthful vigor and upstanding character of young men. 50. Take lots of pills. Read Saturday evening post, and the obituary columns in your newspaper first. I don't know if the above is what you should do in all cases, but I notice that people who reach advanced age do it, so it must work. EC<:-}