To: robnhood who wrote (244026 ) 6/4/2003 9:56:11 PM From: robnhood Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 436258 Georgy boy-- long but except for the market stuff true--- GEORGE W. BUSH > > The White House, USA > > > > RESUME > > > > PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: > > > > I ran for congress and lost. > > I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie. > > I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company > went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. > > I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took > land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago > White Sox. > > > > With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas. > > > > ACCOMPLISHMENTS: > > > > I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the > most polluted state in the Union. > > I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in > America. > > Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in > borrowed money. > > Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history. > > I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, > with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court. > > > > ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: > > > > I attacked and took over two countries. > > I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury. > > I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history. > > I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 > month period. > > I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock > market > > I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner. > > I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal > record. > > In the first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on > vacation by any president in US history. > > After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided > over the worst security failure in US history. > > I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other > president in US history. > > In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job. > > > I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any > president in US history. > > I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. > > I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than > any president in US history. > > I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any > president since the advent of television. > > I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than > any president in US history. > > I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to > intervene when corruption was revealed. > > I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to > use the national reserves as past presidents have. > > > > I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans. > > I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously > take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the > record for protest against any person in the history of mankind > > > > ( hyperreal.org . > > I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US > history. > > My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US > history. > > Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US > history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron > oil tanker named after her). > > > > I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the > Union simultaneously go bankrupt. > > I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market > in any country in the history of the world. > > I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military > occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the > United Nations and the world community. > > > > I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history > of the United States. > > I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, > more than any president in US history. > > I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove > the US from the human rights commission. > > I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove > the US from the elections monitoring board. > > I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of > congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US > history. > > > > I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. > > I withdrew from the World Court of Law. > > I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by > default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions. > > I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election > inspectors (during the 2002 US elections). > > I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate > campaign donations. > > My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best > friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in > world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation). > > > > I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US > history. > > I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack > (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1) > > > > I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government. > > I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than > a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the > biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history). > > > > I, with a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile > Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years. > > I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people > of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace > and stability. > > > > I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea > more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea. > > > > I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded > government contracts. > > I set all-time record for number of administration appointees who > violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding > for government contracts. > > > > I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'. > > I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders > of our country at the United States Capitol building. > > > > After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects. > > In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented > any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history > of the United States. > > > > I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other > president in US history. > > In a little over two years I created the most divided country in > decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil > war. > > > > I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less > than two years turned every single economic category heading straight > down. > > > > RECORDS AND REFERENCES: > > I have At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving > record has been erased and is not available). > > I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time > of war. > > I refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use. > > All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to > my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. > > > > All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or > bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. > > > > All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board > are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. > > > > Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding > public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public > review. > > > > For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker > (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for > war-profiteering.) > Ho ho ho