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To: Dalin who wrote (26757)	6/9/2003 6:16:00 PM
From: Clappy	Respond to of 104202

I got this in an e-mail form Polvo's buddy Jack. It cracked me up. Subject: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? >> >> George Bush's Answer: >> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We >> just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. >> The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle >> ground here. >> >> >> >> Al Gore's Answer: >> I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the >> chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two >> different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to >> bring greater services to the American people. >> >> >> >> Bill Gates' Answer: >> I have just released chicken 2003, which will not only cross >> roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance >> your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of >> chicken. >> >> >> >> Martha Stewart's Answer: >> No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I >> had a >> standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when >> the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any >> insider information. >> >> >> >> Dr. Suess' Answer: >> Did the chicken cross the road? >> Did he cross it with a toad? >> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, >> But why it crossed, I've not been told! >> >> >> >> Ernest Hemingway's Answer: >> To die. In the rain. Alone. >> >> >> >> Martin Luther King Jr's Answer: >> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross >> roads without having their motives called into question. >> >> >> >> Grandpa's Answer: >> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. >> Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good >> enough for us. >> >> >> >> Barbara Walters' Answer: >> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be >> listening to the >> chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of >> how it >> experienced a serious case of molting and went on to >> accomplish its >> life-long dream of crossing the road. >> >> >> >> Ralph Nader's Answer: >> The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had >> been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not >> reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it >> was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. >> >> >> >> Jerry Seinfield's Answer: >> Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone >> ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking >> around all over the place anyway?" >> >> >> >> Pat Buchanan's Answer: >> To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American. >> >> >> >> Rush Limbaugh's Answer: >> I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet >> it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet >> someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens >> with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more >> of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for >> by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about >> your money, money the government took from you to build roads for >> chickens to cross. >> >> >> >> Jerry Falwell's Answer: >> Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you >> people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was >> going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. >> Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, >> you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort >> out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly >> harmless phrases like "the other side.". >> >> >> >> John Lennon's Answer: >> Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. >> >> >> >> Aristotle's Answer: >> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. >> >> >> >> Karl Marx's Answer: >> It was a historical inevitability. >> >> >> >> Saddam Hussein's Answer: >> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite >> justified in >> dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. >> >> >> >> Voltaire's Answer: >> I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend >> to the death its right to do it. >> >> >> >> Captain Kirk's Answer: >> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. >> >> >> >> Fox Mulder's Answer: >> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more >> chickens have to cross before you believe it? >> >> >> >> Scully's Answer: >> It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found >> in chickens. >> >> >> >> Bill Clinton's Answer: >> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean >> by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? >> >> >> >> The Bible's Answer: >> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the >> chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the >> road, and there was much rejoicing. >> >> >> >> Albert Einstein's Answer: >> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move >> beneath the >> chicken? >> >> >> >> Sigmund Freud's Answer: >> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken >> crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. >> >> >> >> L.A.P.D.'s Answer: >> Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. >>