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Politics : Stockman Scott's Political Debate Porch -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: T L Comiskey who wrote (21003)	6/25/2003 2:07:07 PM
From: stockman_scott	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 89467

MANY HALLIBURTON EXECS STILL WITHOUT EVIAN borowitzreport.com Cheney Urges Patience One month after the conclusion of the active combat phase of the war in Iraq, many Halliburton executives stationed in that country are still without Evian water and other basic necessities, a spokesman for the executives said today. “We have been promised Evian for weeks, but so far that has been an empty promise,” said Kenneth Barber, the Halliburton spokesman. “It is time for the U.S. to back up its words with actions.” Mr. Barber said that weeks ago, a representative of interim administrator L. Paul Bremer asked the Halliburton employees what kind of water they preferred – “sparkling, or still.” “That was the last we heard from him,” Mr. Barber said. “How long could it take for him to come back with our water?” Mr. Barber said that the absence of Evian water could set off a humanitarian crisis among the Halliburton executives, many of whom have already gone weeks without Starbucks coffee or flaky croissants. In a speech to the people of Halliburton, Vice President Dick Cheney urged the increasingly unhappy executives to be “patient.” “We know that the pace of reconstruction has been slow, but soon Iraq will be full of four-star restaurants and gourmet takeout places that will be the envy of the region,” Mr. Cheney said. Meanwhile, the Bush administration announced a “major victory” in the search for Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction as it uncovered what it called “a fully operational Botox facility” in Beverly Hills, California. The White House said that U.S. forces seized significant quantities of Botox and the actress Goldie Hawn.