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Pastimes : Clown-Free Zone... sorry, no clowns allowed -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Joan Osland Graffius who wrote (248459)	7/4/2003 2:50:59 PM
From: David Zgodzinski	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 436258

Joan checked with my branch of the Royal Bank. All five of the big Canadian charter banks are relatively conservative - they are also lazy and not great with customer service because of lack of competition - though I hear that's a problem down there even with lots of competition . . . It's funny but they don't seem to have a lot of US citizens trying to open accounts so they weren't all that clear about the details. They say you need a passport and one other form of ID and you can open a "non-resident" account. Taxes are withheld but the woman in the branch didn't know where the taxes went, only that they are taken directly from the account (I assume they go to the Canadian government with receipt for US tax purposes - you could check with Revenue Canada) I know that a lot of US banks in cities along the border have Canuckistanian account holders (from years of separatist threats and fear for the loony, etc.) and I'm sure they know all the rules about foreign accounts very clearly in those banks. We're not used to Americans wanting to shelter funds up here.

To: Joan Osland Graffius who wrote (248459)	7/4/2003 3:04:24 PM
From: Clever Nick Name	Respond to of 436258

As a Canadian living in the US I know a bit about this. Non residents have a significant portion of any interest held back by the bank. You may be able to get it back by filing a Canadian tax return, I've never tried though. All the information is shared with the IRS. And you are legally obligated to declare all foreign accounts of $10k. With all the money laundering and 'terrorism' agreements, I doubt there would pose any difficulty for the US to seize your assets. The Canadian government would likely hold your money 'in trust' rather than turning it over to the US, but that would be cold comfort for you. Monaco sound a lot more secure to me. Besides, aren't you curious about what zonder really looks like? I'm thinking Charlotte from Sex in the City, myself.

To: Joan Osland Graffius who wrote (248459)	7/4/2003 9:00:25 PM
From: Terry Maloney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 436258

Joan, yes, these computers talk to each other ... <g> (Royal, maybe?) The rest probably depends on whether shrub rules for long ... <g/ng>

To: Joan Osland Graffius who wrote (248459)	7/5/2003 12:32:04 AM
From: robnhood	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 436258

Here's some answers to other questions--- >These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism >Website. > >1. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? >(UK) >A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them >die. > >2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) >A: Depends how much you've been drinking. > >3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad >tracks? (Sweden) >A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . . > >4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) >A: So its true what they say about Swedes. > >5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to >contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) >A: Let's not touch this one. > >6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list >of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) >A: What did your last slave die of? > >7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) >A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da >is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing > >is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. > >8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) >A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and >we'll send the rest of the directions. > >9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) >A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. > >10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) >A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. . >. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in >Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. >Come naked. > >11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) >A: No, WE don't stink. > >12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you > >tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA) >A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. > >13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK) >A: You are an American politician, right? > >14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female >population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) >A: Yes, gay nightclubs. > >15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) >A: Only at Thanksgiving. > >17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year >round? (Germany) >A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is >illegal. > >18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense >rattlesnake serum. (USA) >A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely >handled and make good pets. > >19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its >name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) >A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of >anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself >with human urine before you go out walking. > >21. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I >dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA) >A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. > >22. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) >A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. >