To: Berry Picker who wrote (35476 ) 7/10/2003 12:59:09 AM From: Jamey Respond to of 39621 Brian, your thoughtfulness touches me very much. I look at it this way. God ONLY gives us a cross that we can bear. No more, no less. Suffering and pain is part of aging as the body deteriorates and the spiritual man grows, however haltingly. Unfortunately, I was only 46 when I had a herniated cervical disk surgery that left me worse off, apparently than if I had not chosen such aggressive methods to take care of the migraines that I was enduring at the time before the surgery. The spine is a peculiar part of the body in that once one part is affected, the problem eventually evolves to include the whole body. Some people dislike me and disdain my reaction to them but God has given me a special recognition of those who wear masks and are not secure enough in faith to take the risk of finding out what and who they are. I do not apologize for being honest with others when they live life like an actor in a play. Those kind I step around because I don't have time to waste with one who cannot or will not take a look inside him or herself and resorts to the con game. Perhaps you find that somewhat brutal but when you have lost 30 years of living a joyful life in Christ because of an insane desire to drink Johnny Walker then you are able to immediately see what you once were in those who are living a selfish, self centered life like I once did. God will or will not take care of them. But until humility is learned through utter humiliation and the honesty to sincerely ask for help I am unable to guide them or have anything in common with them. I know you can understand this. "I am not that man any longer through the blessed grace of God who saved me from the pit of hell." Maybe to most, I am not an enjoyable person to be around. But when I find a friend such as you, then I will go to the mat with you because I know you Brian, perhaps better than you realize. Somewhat of a stickler on rules, never the less you are imo, sincerely striving for completeness. If I know it, then you can be sure God knows it! Who knows, my heart may be game to live to see the "spirit of learning" that you are expecting. I would love to see the evangelistic brothers come around to the truth of Eschatology..... Maybe they will throw the false teachers out on their ear and demand that the church elders change the man made rules so that we could all have fellowship. That's what I would like to live to see. Thanks again, Brother James