To: American Spirit who wrote (432775 ) 8/18/2003 2:16:08 AM From: Jerrel Peters Respond to of 769670 Hillary is about to announce...just as Carrie plays a piccolo. >>>>>>>>>>'Doof' John Kerry's Cheesy Blunder Where's the beef? Don't ask Sen. John Kerry. He'd rather not talk about it. The White House wannabe has apparently offended all of Philadelphia by ordering Swiss on his cheese steak. This doesn't seem like that big a deal to us, but then we're not from Philly. Even the pro-Democrat Philadelphia Daily News is in a huff. The paper says "we may have just witnessed the unraveling of the Democratic front-runner's campaign for the White House right here in South Philadelphia, at 9th and Wharton.... "For presidential candidates, eating a cheese steak in South Philly is a political rite of passage. Clinton did it, and so did Gore. John McCain gobbled one, with hot peppers. "But this is more than just shaking hands and kissing babies. For a pol, eating a cheese steak is like running the gauntlet - past the surly counterman, through the variety of toppings, finishing it off without looking lame. "We want to see if you can survive. And if you can't manage a dripping steak, why should we have any confidence that you can handle a slippery character like Osama bin Laden? "Kerry, you may have heard, failed miserably." It seems that "ordering Swiss on a cheese steak is like rooting for Dallas at an Eagles game. It isn't just politically incorrect; it could get you a poke in the nose. "At first, reporters snickered. Then word filtered into the national press that Kerry looked like a doof. Yesterday, the Washington Post compared the debacle to the first President Bush's out-of-touch questions upon encountering a common supermarket scanner." The daily likens the gaffe to Michael Dukakis' widely mocked photo op in an Army tank, Dan Quayle's misspelling of "potatoe" and Richard Nixon's five o'clock shadow. "So the man who would be president of the people was photographed delicately gripping the sandwich with his fingertips like he's some kind of Boston blue blood playing the piccolo. You half expected him to ask for a silk napkin, Jeeves." Well, it might it have been worse. The priss could've asked for Brie. >>>>>>>>>>>>Hillary Launches Presidential Campaign Speaking of Hillary, some of our Democrat readers (yes, there are tens of thousands of them) express skepticism, to put it nicely, about our reports of her presidential plans. Maybe they'll believe the Detroit News. "Clinton strikes candidate's pose," the daily reported this past week in an article about her book-signing junket in Michigan, which it likened to a "campaign rally." "Over two hours, she acted more like a presidential candidate than an author," the News revealed. Believe it or not, the crowd adored her. "I would love for her to run for president," said Letty Dancel, a real estate broker from Oak Park and native of the Philippines. "She'd have the votes of our family, 16 people." The News reported: "They were from all over, from Mitzi Esposito of Linden, who admires Clinton's 'bravery,' to Dot Bradsher of Holly, who praised her 'tenacity, her commitment, her values,' to the Rev. Anita Turner of Detroit, who called her 'the greatest woman of her generation.' These weren't readers, they were future campaign workers." George Murasky, a retiree from Rochester Hills, said, "She's a hell of a woman." Yes, that's one remark we can agree with. Editor's Note: Find out about Hillary's White House ambitions in the New York Times bestseller, "Hillary's Scheme" by Carl Limbacher. Praised by Rush and Dick Morris, it's a must read!