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Pastimes : Clown-Free Zone... sorry, no clowns allowed -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Knighty Tin who wrote (256346)	8/18/2003 2:14:05 PM
From: ild	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 436258

An Imaginary Conversation Between Arnold and Warren By STEVE LIESMAN Warren Buffett's becoming the economic advisor to a gubernatorial candidate in California sounds like a great idea. It's just that I'm not exactly sold on the candidate he's working for, Arnold Schwarzenegger. My doubts were compounded after I accidentally overheard their first meeting. Arnold: Hi, Warren. Glad you are on board with the team. Let's get down to business. Warren: Right, well, the first place to start is the state's $38 billion deficit. The treasury is bleeding cash. Arnold: No problem. You know what I always say, "If it bleeds, kill it." "We have to clean house in Sacramento." Warren: OK. Well, how would you do that? Arnold: As I said in my press conference, "California is being run now by special interests." Warren: Good idea, Arnold. Which special interests did you have in mind? Arnold: Well, there are the aliens that are sucking the state's coffers dry. Warren: Aliens, Arnold? You mean illegal immigration? Arnold: No, no. I mean the aliens that are walking among us, the ones you can't see, aliens from the future. The ones I killed in Termina... Warren: That's a movie Arnold. Arnold: Ha, ha.... Just kidding. I see you are laughing and when you laugh Warren, you jiggle a little bit. You know what I say, "If it jiggles, it's fat." Warren: Ok, Arnold. One way to plug the deficit is to stop the exodus of companies from the state. Arnold: "Big mistake," Warren, baby. I have that one taken care of. Warren: You do? Arnold: Sure. Let me ask you a question: Where are all these companies moving to? Warren: Well, a lot of manufacturing jobs are going to China. Arnold: Exactly. My plan: We send an elite team of California Highway Patrolmen to China and we tell these businessmen, "We are not like American police.... One morning you will wake up and find your tes...." Warren: You can't do that, Arnold. It's a free country. Arnold: What do you think, I was born yesterday? I know this is a free country. But China isn't a free country. Warren: Ok, I get the idea. Let's put that one on the backburner for now. What about unemployment? California's unemployment is higher than the rest of the nation. Arnold: Tell me something I don't know, Warren. My idea is training and education for the unemployed. Warren: Excellent, Arnold. Now we're on the same page. So let's talk about how much additional money we want to allocate to colleges and technical schools.... Arnold: Colleges? No, no, Warren, baby. I meant training at the gym, pumping up, baby. Getting these unemployed in shape so they don't run out of energy when they are looking for work. "Training gives you an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress and thus tones the spirit.... My body is like breakfast, lunch and dinner. I don't think about, I just have it." Warren: Right. Maybe that's enough for today. Arnold: Ok, Warren. But I think you should think about working out. "The best activities for your health are pumping and …." Warren: Thanks. I'll think about it. Arnold: "Hasta la vista, baby."