SI
SI
discoversearch

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor.  We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community.  If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.
Pastimes : NNBM - SI Branch -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Dalin who wrote (28264)8/24/2003 3:50:34 AM
From: Clappy  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 104157
 
On my way to work Friday I was walking through Bryant Park.
(In NY City not too far from Grand Central Station.)
I'm not certain which Bryant it was named after. Since
there were no statues of Anita Bryant or Bryant Gumble I
assume it must have been the historic looking dude wearing
bronze with the pigeons on his head located near the large
water fountain.

Anyhow as I enter the park I notice that there is a large
stage set up at the east end with a band warming up. The
band is playing a song I never heard of and I can hear a
woman's voice singing but there is no sign of a female on
the stage. As I get a better angle of the stage I see signs
saying this was one of the mini concerts that the Good
Morning America Show puts on every once in a while. That's
when I noticed the television cameras fanned out in
different strategic locations across the large lawn. Across
the way I could see a table with lots of vegetables like
tomatoes and celery and stuff. I figure they were going to
do a cooking segment on what to do with all those extra
tomatoes from the garden or something like that. Actually
that is a segment I would liked to have watched since
my garden is busting in red and orange colors right about
now.

I see a small crowd gathering near the left side of the
lawn. The area has police barriers to help keep the people
herded together. I see two TV cameras panning through the
fifty or so people waving and shaking signs up and down
letting the world know which part of the world they have
journeyed from just to stand in a corral and look silly and
excited as a weatherman does his best Al Roker imitation.
That is exactly what it seemed like. The fifty people who
wanted to be up early enough to witness this were coached
buy some producer type dude as to how much to smile and how
loud to scream when the camera comes on. Then the camera
quickly swoops by them a few times to make it look like a
huge gathering.

I just stood far in the background and watched all this
silliness. But then a little light bulb went on inside my
head. I quickly got on my cell phone and called my wife and
told her to put on channel seven. She did and said they
were in a commercial. As I told her what was going on I
made my way around the barriers and near the cameras. The
weather dude was standing with his back just feet from the
people while discussing stuff with the production crew. I
noticed the angle of his camera man and him and tried to
align myself so I would be in the background. As I found
just the right spot to stand some ladies from Gainsville,
Florida (at least that is what their large yellow signs
said) pushed their way in front of me. So now I'm about
four of five people deep. I ask my wife for updates as to
what they are showing on TV. She tells me they are in the
studio where Harry is reading the news. I told my wife to
watch for a large yellow sign and I'll be somewhere behind
it. The music has stopped and the weather dude is acting as
if he's really interested in what all the tourists have to
say while they are back in commercial. Over my cell phone I
hear my wife yell, "They are going to do the weather!" She
got my three youngsters to gather around the tube to help
look for me. The producer dude begins waving his hands
upward and posts a huge silly exagerated smile on his face
to coach the crowd. As corny as it was I found myself
making a very similar face waving my hands and trying to
get my head positioned directly under that large annoying
yellow sign bobbing up and down. I hear my wife
screaming, "I SEE YOU! I SEE YOU!" The weather dude is
talking into his microphone and explaining where he is and
stuff. It seems like an intro for the concert that is going
to take place in a the next hour. My wife informs me over
the noise that the kids and her saw my face three separate
times. I feel great! I got myself on TV! Way too cool! I
bet millions of people saw me waving and smiling.

The little red light on the camera turns off and the
cheering stops. Now I finally get a good look at the stage.
That's when I see a sign saying that is will be the teen-
favorite Jessica Simpson who will be performing. That's
when it all hit me. I finally get my face shown on TV and
it's at a teenie-bopper idol concert. Picture me, a bloated
construction worker looking type wearing carpenter pants a
tee shirt and a filthy Yankees cap screaming and waving in
joy and excitement as they introduce Jessica Simpson. Now
I'm hoping no one that I know was watching. My buddies
would certainly give me a hard time about being such a
nerd. I admit I'm still pretty excited about getting myself
on the morning news.

As I walked away and towards work, the music started up and
the band was playing the same song again. This time,
however, Jesica Simpson was on stage. It was her recorded
voice I was hearing earlier. I suppose she was now lip-
synching to her latest hit. Too bad The Stones or
Springsteen weren't there instead... It would have been a
nice morning to watch a concert...

I told the guys at work about it and they got a kick out of
it. I told them I never pictured myself attending a
Jessica Simpson concert. A Homer Simpson concert perhaps
but not Jessica Simpson.

I think I'm developing a zit.

-NewPresidentOfTheJesicaSimpsonFanClubAndWriterForSweetSixteenMagazine



To: Dalin who wrote (28264)8/27/2003 10:14:38 PM
From: elpolvo  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 104157
 
HOW many newsgroup posters does it take to change a light bulb? :)

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
.. another 6 to condemn those 6 as analretentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is
"lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this newsgroup is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb newsgroup
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware newsgroup, off-topic
newsgroup, and lightbulb newsgroup about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this newsgroup saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this newsgroup
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to
buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this
technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to
this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions
about light bulbs"
1 newsgroup lurker to respond to the original post 29 days from now and
start it all over again