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Pastimes : NNBM - SI Branch -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Dalin who wrote (28264)	8/24/2003 3:50:34 AM
From: Clappy	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 104157

On my way to work Friday I was walking through Bryant Park. (In NY City not too far from Grand Central Station.) I'm not certain which Bryant it was named after. Since there were no statues of Anita Bryant or Bryant Gumble I assume it must have been the historic looking dude wearing bronze with the pigeons on his head located near the large water fountain. Anyhow as I enter the park I notice that there is a large stage set up at the east end with a band warming up. The band is playing a song I never heard of and I can hear a woman's voice singing but there is no sign of a female on the stage. As I get a better angle of the stage I see signs saying this was one of the mini concerts that the Good Morning America Show puts on every once in a while. That's when I noticed the television cameras fanned out in different strategic locations across the large lawn. Across the way I could see a table with lots of vegetables like tomatoes and celery and stuff. I figure they were going to do a cooking segment on what to do with all those extra tomatoes from the garden or something like that. Actually that is a segment I would liked to have watched since my garden is busting in red and orange colors right about now. I see a small crowd gathering near the left side of the lawn. The area has police barriers to help keep the people herded together. I see two TV cameras panning through the fifty or so people waving and shaking signs up and down letting the world know which part of the world they have journeyed from just to stand in a corral and look silly and excited as a weatherman does his best Al Roker imitation. That is exactly what it seemed like. The fifty people who wanted to be up early enough to witness this were coached buy some producer type dude as to how much to smile and how loud to scream when the camera comes on. Then the camera quickly swoops by them a few times to make it look like a huge gathering. I just stood far in the background and watched all this silliness. But then a little light bulb went on inside my head. I quickly got on my cell phone and called my wife and told her to put on channel seven. She did and said they were in a commercial. As I told her what was going on I made my way around the barriers and near the cameras. The weather dude was standing with his back just feet from the people while discussing stuff with the production crew. I noticed the angle of his camera man and him and tried to align myself so I would be in the background. As I found just the right spot to stand some ladies from Gainsville, Florida (at least that is what their large yellow signs said) pushed their way in front of me. So now I'm about four of five people deep. I ask my wife for updates as to what they are showing on TV. She tells me they are in the studio where Harry is reading the news. I told my wife to watch for a large yellow sign and I'll be somewhere behind it. The music has stopped and the weather dude is acting as if he's really interested in what all the tourists have to say while they are back in commercial. Over my cell phone I hear my wife yell, "They are going to do the weather!" She got my three youngsters to gather around the tube to help look for me. The producer dude begins waving his hands upward and posts a huge silly exagerated smile on his face to coach the crowd. As corny as it was I found myself making a very similar face waving my hands and trying to get my head positioned directly under that large annoying yellow sign bobbing up and down. I hear my wife screaming, "I SEE YOU! I SEE YOU!" The weather dude is talking into his microphone and explaining where he is and stuff. It seems like an intro for the concert that is going to take place in a the next hour. My wife informs me over the noise that the kids and her saw my face three separate times. I feel great! I got myself on TV! Way too cool! I bet millions of people saw me waving and smiling. The little red light on the camera turns off and the cheering stops. Now I finally get a good look at the stage. That's when I see a sign saying that is will be the teen- favorite Jessica Simpson who will be performing. That's when it all hit me. I finally get my face shown on TV and it's at a teenie-bopper idol concert. Picture me, a bloated construction worker looking type wearing carpenter pants a tee shirt and a filthy Yankees cap screaming and waving in joy and excitement as they introduce Jessica Simpson. Now I'm hoping no one that I know was watching. My buddies would certainly give me a hard time about being such a nerd. I admit I'm still pretty excited about getting myself on the morning news. As I walked away and towards work, the music started up and the band was playing the same song again. This time, however, Jesica Simpson was on stage. It was her recorded voice I was hearing earlier. I suppose she was now lip- synching to her latest hit. Too bad The Stones or Springsteen weren't there instead... It would have been a nice morning to watch a concert... I told the guys at work about it and they got a kick out of it. I told them I never pictured myself attending a Jessica Simpson concert. A Homer Simpson concert perhaps but not Jessica Simpson. I think I'm developing a zit. -NewPresidentOfTheJesicaSimpsonFanClubAndWriterForSweetSixteenMagazine

To: Dalin who wrote (28264)	8/27/2003 10:14:38 PM
From: elpolvo	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 104157

HOW many newsgroup posters does it take to change a light bulb? :) 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs 53 to flame the spell checkers 41 to correct spelling/grammar flames 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" .. another 6 to condemn those 6 as analretentive 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp" 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct 156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy" 109 to post that this newsgroup is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb newsgroup 203 to demand that cross posting to hardware newsgroup, off-topic newsgroup, and lightbulb newsgroup about changing light bulbs be stopped 111 to defend the posting to this newsgroup saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this newsgroup 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty 27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs 14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's 3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group 33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too" 12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy 19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three" 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ 44 to ask what is a "FAQ" 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?" 143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs" 1 newsgroup lurker to respond to the original post 29 days from now and start it all over again