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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: GROUND ZERO™ who wrote (449028)	8/27/2003 3:39:50 PM
From: Kevin Rose	Respond to of 769670

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Posted: August 27, 2003 3:00 p.m. Eastern By Rush Toojuj 2003 NewsLess.com Bush Declares New War Washington - President George W Bush today took the next step in the righteous battle with evil by opening a new war front. "Evil weather patterns are threatening the very livelihoodness of America", the President declared. "Rain, snow, and sleet are the very emboobiment of those who would snatch away our way of life. This war must be won if our children are to be free of the scrooge of uncontrollable precapilation, uh, presepitution, uh, well, whatever...". Secr of Defense Donald Rumsfeld outlined the battle plan to ward off this latest evil. "We believe that our smart weapons can surgically strike the enemy and decapitate them in a single powerful blow." When asked to identify the enemy, Rumsfeld replied, "Well, its obvious. It's the evil droplets ready to fall on our unsuspecting brave citizens. Not the good droplets, mind you, but the evil ones. We'll shock and awe them right outta the clouds". In conjunction with this new effort, Attorney General Ashcroft asked Congress for additional powers to wage combat. "We're asking Congress for to pass our bill, named the Jingoist Act, to grant us the necessary tools to deal with this Godless water vapor", Ashcroft said. "With the good graces of God and Jesus Christ, we will defeat this menace". When asked for details, Ashcroft replied, "You'll have to discuss the details with the bill's author, this Jingo fellow". Secr of State Powell was on hand, but made no formal comments. However, he could be heard muttering "Man, this is just more b*s*. When the hell am I gonna get outta this nuthouse?!".