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Pastimes : Ask God -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: O'Hara who wrote (35579)	9/10/2003 12:03:05 AM
From: Berry Picker	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 39621

Shalom - I used to drive a taxi for a number of years. I thought I was "serving" the Lord by witnessing to any who would listen. I look back upon the experience as a lesson to me. I meet a fellow one time however that told me he had gotten saved and attended church but gave up on God because God "let" his brother die even though he had prayed with all his might. I mean you no harm Shalom - and I also readily admit I am no Job - I am not even as good as one of Job's friends. Your "act" is all the ifs IF God exists and the if the Bible is true stuff - it is quite an act and surely very difficult to maintain when you know you know better. Let me share a little personal history with you. I went to the Bible book store one day about 20 years ago. I found these little paper backs that were the individual books of the bible - at that time I had to confess I had not read all of the bible although I would espouse just how much I loved God and would die for Him - blah blah blah. I decided to buy them as they would be easy to carry and as I read each one could go on to the next until I could assure myself I had read all of the old testament. However, upon realizing my own weaknesses decide not to buy the entire set lest I find them unread years later and waste my money. I bought therefore only 2. I was very penetcostle back in those days and trusted that God would cause me to buy what I need to hear most. I bought the book of Hosea and the book of Job. Now at this point any unbeliever will accuse me of lying but I am not and God is my witness. AS SOON AS I got home and in the door my (first) wife asked where I had been (no cell phones ) and said that both my sister and mother had been calling to get a hold of me. That was unusual, my wife said she thought that my sister had taken one of her children to the hospital. I called my mother immediately and she told me that my sister daughter was supposedly quite sick and that my sister had called her to keep trying to reach me because she really wanted me to come to the hospital. I knew something had to be up but without much thinking decided to go right away - at the last moment I decided to take something to read and pulled from the bag I had just layed on the table both books but then decided to only take one - I took the book of Job. My sisters daughter was 1 month short of being 2 years old. Over the next 3 days we spent our time in the hospital without much sleep while the little girl died. Did we pray - did we beg God - did my sister even try to repent of sins she likely did not even commit? Did we wonder if we lacked faith - did we wonder who had sinned that this one should die - shall I go on??? My father after the first day leaned upon me in tears and said "If God lets her die I do not think I will be able to serve Him ever again. She means EVERTHING to me." During the time that we waited and waited in the waiting room, my sister, my brother in law, and I all read the book of Job. I can not tell you how much I grew in that experience. My sister said "This may seem perverted, but it almost seems like God took my daughter so we could all draw closer to Him" In that time I felt as close as I ever did or have to my sister. During that time I felt as close as I ever have to the Lord. One of our friends however, after that and because of it, never went to church again. My father however did continue and accepted that God is sovereign and that we do not own our children - they are His to do with as He desires. In God's providence, I was buying that book and being prepared for a spiritual experience that has never been topped to be honest. I of course had to ask myself well what of the other book. Could one book have been so ordained and the other meaningless? My (first and unfaithful) wife divorced me not much later. I was not caught by surprise. Maybe God will use this experience to harden your heart but I think better things may be in store for you. God is not injured by your "act" and IF you are elect you will come around. Your son? God sacrificed His own Son. Jesus lives. What did Job lose? If you have lost anything - then perhaps you never really had it. I am sorry for your "loss" - letting loved ones go is the toughest thing there is among our earthly trials. How many have said I wished it were I who had died? That is a Cry of Love Job 1:21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. 22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly. Brian