To: John Carragher who wrote (463891 ) 9/24/2003 8:31:43 AM From: JakeStraw Respond to of 769670 "I'm Not An Alcoholic, I Just Reek of Alcohol" September 23, 2003 On Tuesday, I decided to JIP - join in progress - Senator Ted "The Swimmer" Kennedy's response to President Bush's speech to the United Nations. You may not realize that Kennedy is responding to the president's speech, because it's clear he didn't listen to a single word. Kennedy claimed "the administration's rationale was built on a quicksand of false assumptions" and that it "seems confused" in Iraq. Senator, this is a rope-a-dope by the president. Diplomacy is taking place! President Bush didn't give specifics because we're trying to isolate the French appeasers. The Germans are already shifting away from their old stance, which will help us build a coalition against Paris. The French don't like our resolution because it has us still running the show - which means they can't get their hands on the oil wealth that rightly belongs to the Iraqi people. To Ted Kennedy, whose liver is said to be shaped like a Chivas Regal bottle, what Bush said and what's best for America and the Iraqis doesn't matter. All that mattered was that this speech gave him a chance to score political points. You know, I read today that the KGB developed a pill, RU-21, to enable their agents to drink and drink without getting hangovers. If Ted Kennedy doesn't start taking RU-21 soon, his brain might deteriorate to the point where he makes as many bizarre comments as General Wes Clark. "I'm not a drunk, I'm just an average American who reeks of alcohol" would be a famous phrase to equal to General Clark's, "I'm not a military man, I've just been in the military and the Armed Services for 31 years." If only Kennedy had taken RU-21 in the 90s, we might've been able to understand the unintelligible syllables on that day he introduced Bill Clinton