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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lane3 who wrote (75597)	9/26/2003 7:48:43 AM
From: Lane3	Respond to of 82486

Among lessons for NBA rookies: Relationships can be hard to figure By Chris Sheridan ASSOCIATED PRESS 5:54 p.m. September 24, 2003 TARRYTOWN, N.Y. – The setting is a restaurant, where an actor portraying a pro basketball player dines with his girlfriend. They're discussing a house they were going to buy until the deal fell through. The young man gradually loses his temper. Becoming verbally abusive and belligerent, he rises from his chair and makes a scene. "Let it go, honey," she tells him. "Yelling doesn't solve anything. Don't embarrass me." "Oh, I'm embarrassing you now?" he shouts back before storming out and ordering her to come with him. She dutifully complies. The skit, designed to help NBA rookies learn about relationships, was performed Tuesday before an audience of more than 50 incoming players as part of the league's six-day rookie transition program. "That whole scenario is just one element of what we try to do," said Mike Bantom, the NBA's senior vice president of player development. The program also includes career-building sessions on everything from check writing to making proper introductions – skills that will help rookies represent the league responsibly. Attendance is mandatory for all incoming players – just as it has been since 1986 – in a league where the off-court troubles of Kobe Bryant dominated summer headlines. The class included everyone from superhyped high school star LeBron James to Luke Walton, son of Hall of Famer Bill. During the skits performed by the theater company Zinc, director Zach Minor periodically interrupts and passes a microphone to players, asking for their thoughts on the drama unfolding. The 59 players gathered in a conference room whistle at the actresses, add their own comments to the scripted innuendo and basically act like boys among boys, which is not far removed from what they are. Fifteen in the group are under 21. One player comments that the couple on stage don't act like they're committed to a 50-50 partnership. But another says the woman seemed ideal – she knew her place, didn't challenge her upbraiding and acted perfectly compliant to somebody superior to her. (The players' names cannot be used under an agreement which granted reporters access to the drama session for the first time.) At a table in the rear, several NBA officials – many of them veterans now working in player development jobs – shook their heads. "Those are the types of attitudes that come out of adolescents, and some of these players have to adjust their maturity levels," Minor said. "Our challenge is to raise those skills to the genius level of their athletic skills." The average NBA salary last season was $4.9 million, but the majority of the players at rookie orientation will earn less than $1 million in their first season. Learning how to manage that money is another key aspect of the program. The actors also perform skits involving financial planning, crimes and weapons possession laws. Minor uses the players' responses to drive home a three-word mantra: "Choices. Decisions. Consequences." The players – 51 rookies and eight second-year players who missed orientation a year ago – must attend 53 hours of training sessions. Other topics include social skills, nutrition, stress and anger management, and how to deal with coaches, referees and veterans. Speakers make the rookies aware of the league's resource network in every city, with counselors available to anyone who reaches out. Minor says handling personal relationships could be the biggest challenge young players will face. "Young wealthy basketball players that are superstars and are coveted by society, not only do they have sort of an out-of-this-world perception of their self-worth, they'd almost be better off not even considering marriage until they're 30 or 35," said Tim McCormick, the players' union's regional director of player programs. "When you make these decisions at age 20 or 25, it's nearly impossible. "How will they know whether the person they're building a relationship with is there because of love or money?" Later in the skit, the player arrives home after a game and finds his girlfriend waiting. An argument quickly escalates, and the woman says it's time for the relationship to end. The players in the audience laugh as the actor asks the actress: "You want me to call you a taxi?" But the mirth quickly subsides when the woman answers: "I want the house" – explaining how she needs to sort out the legal details and be adequately compensated in accordance with the common-law rules of their home state. Minor stops the scene and explains that some states consider a couple legally married if they live together long enough. The length varies by state, and the players are stunned to hear that the legal standard can be less than one year. "Which state?" they ask in unison. A voice pipes in from the back of the room. It belongs to 41-year-old McCormick, who spent eight seasons in the NBA. He tells the players that 80 percent of athlete marriages end in divorce – often because of the immature attitudes many of them have about relationships. "You don't find a wife by picking the hottest babe at the bar. You want to find someone with whom you have mutual interests, someone you can grow a relationship with and it can be an equal partnership," McCormick said. Later in the day, the rookies broke into smaller group counseling sessions to discuss the seminars. Positive feedback was reinforced; Neanderthal comments were repudiated. "We saw widely varying levels of understanding of what's good in a relationship, and the reason we have so many breakout sessions is so things like that don't go unaddressed," Bantom said.