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Politics : Politics for Pros- moderated -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: LindyBill who wrote (11120)	10/7/2003 7:10:54 AM
From: Bill Ulrich	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 793912

It's officially Oct. 7th, now — a very big day ahead for California. I've decided to unveil my intention for write-in candidacy. With the following policies, I'm sure the CA voters will agree that I can "bust a move" on Busta "Give Me The Indian Money"-mante and Terminate the Arnoldnator. My First Point was going to be: "First, let's kill all the lawyers." But some other "Bill" pre-empted me on that about 435 years ago. So, we'll make that second in the priority list. If elected, I'll come up with an even better first measure. Details on gun control are now released: #reply-19377598 Education: teachers will be on commission-only status just like regular salespeople. If the kids aren't learnin', you're not earnin'! If you sell a kid on the idea that the ability to read and write is actually beneficial, you get paid! Exponentially awarded bonuses for moving them up through grades. Example: move a kid to demonstrate K-12 competency by age 10, get a 132% bonus. Utility deregulation: This morass is completely unraveled in one simple, deregulatory step: The one and only regulation is that Gray Davis pays every state citizen's utility bills for the next 2 years. Those are compensatory payments. The following two years, he pays half, for punitive damages. Car tax: Rolling back the 3X-car tax enacted by Gray. But if you voluntarily pay for my new 8X-car tax, you get your own lane. Add'l Budgetary Measures: • San Francisco PD are required to pay for their own Fajitas instead of beating up bar patrons. • Gary Condit will be made available at local County Fairs for the Water Balloon Toss, $1 per throw. Haven't decided on the campaign slogan yet — thinking of "Fisting Fiscal Fitness Out of Capitol Flunkies" but our focus groups have found that to be a bit extreme. Any winning suggestion gets a kickback from the Breaks-Wind-Like-Jackalope Entertainment Dice Co. Yours Sincerely, -MrB