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Politics : Stockman Scott's Political Debate Porch -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: lurqer who wrote (29780)	10/8/2003 12:42:49 PM
From: Jim Willie CB	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 89467

last night I had another telemarketer call me some nice young woman trying to sell me a program for discounted merchandise club I thought I would pull my usual un-American gag "I dont purchase anything, ever, really, and that is so un-American that I am truly ashamed" she laughed, and asked what I do buy I said "groceries, a taco now and again, and plenty of prophylactics, since a fellow can never be too prepared" I howled at my end, but showed no clue she finally laughed hard, and asked about my Christmas shopping plans I could not resist, of course, thinking quickly she was at a disadvantage since I have done this before on numerous occasions I said "at Christmas I usually buy restaurant gift certificates for married friends, a token gift certificate to my sister, some cashew for Pops, but my favorite is wrapping myself up in a bow and offering myself in a hot bed session to a couple younger women I know... it often works, which pleases me, but it does not support the economy... well, except for the prophylactics" she laughed hard at that one I finally added that if I bought the merchandise club membership, I would be because she sounded so nice and sexy she laughed again I closed by saying I am a bad consumer, never buying shirts or pants, prefering to receive them myself as Christmas gifts why just last week, I did a little carpentry job for my parents and good ole Mom had a nice flannel shirt for her boy I hung up gracefully my favorites are responding to telemarketers for long distance phone and newspapers I tell the phone people that I do not have a telephone that baffles them I tell the newspaper people that I do not know how to read that baffles them I once told a carpet cleaning salesman that I prefer dirty carpets, and some of my best friends are fleas that reply produced some dead air I ended up breaking the impasse with laughter of my own I once told an electricity telemarketer that I owned a treehouse, and hoped by next year to get electric wiring to the place... and right now, all I have is a makeshift bathroom, which I use liberally in streaming down on my neighbors <G><G> these guys deserve all the bullshit nonsense we can throw at them "obstreperous"... damn, I am impressed you use big words more like "ornery, difficult, humorous, charming rogue" my little mother coined "charming rogue" which fits best that was a long time ago when women get to know me, I share that and they nod YES / jim