SI
SI
discoversearch

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor.  We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community.  If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.
Politics : Stockman Scott's Political Debate Porch -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: lurqer who wrote (29780)10/8/2003 12:42:49 PM
From: Jim Willie CB  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 89467
 
last night I had another telemarketer call me
some nice young woman trying to sell me a program for discounted merchandise club

I thought I would pull my usual un-American gag
"I dont purchase anything, ever, really, and that is so un-American that I am truly ashamed"

she laughed, and asked what I do buy
I said "groceries, a taco now and again, and plenty of prophylactics, since a fellow can never be too prepared"

I howled at my end, but showed no clue
she finally laughed hard, and asked about my Christmas shopping plans
I could not resist, of course, thinking quickly
she was at a disadvantage since I have done this before on numerous occasions

I said "at Christmas I usually buy restaurant gift certificates for married friends, a token gift certificate to my sister, some cashew for Pops, but my favorite is wrapping myself up in a bow and offering myself in a hot bed session to a couple younger women I know... it often works, which pleases me, but it does not support the economy... well, except for the prophylactics"

she laughed hard at that one
I finally added that if I bought the merchandise club membership, I would be because she sounded so nice and sexy
she laughed again

I closed by saying I am a bad consumer, never buying shirts or pants, prefering to receive them myself as Christmas gifts
why just last week, I did a little carpentry job for my parents and good ole Mom had a nice flannel shirt for her boy

I hung up gracefully

my favorites are responding to telemarketers for long distance phone and newspapers

I tell the phone people that I do not have a telephone
that baffles them

I tell the newspaper people that I do not know how to read
that baffles them

I once told a carpet cleaning salesman that I prefer dirty carpets, and some of my best friends are fleas
that reply produced some dead air
I ended up breaking the impasse with laughter of my own

I once told an electricity telemarketer that I owned a treehouse, and hoped by next year to get electric wiring to the place... and right now, all I have is a makeshift bathroom, which I use liberally in streaming down on my neighbors

<G><G> these guys deserve all the bullshit nonsense we can throw at them
"obstreperous"... damn, I am impressed you use big words
more like "ornery, difficult, humorous, charming rogue"

my little mother coined "charming rogue" which fits best
that was a long time ago
when women get to know me, I share that and they nod YES
/ jim