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Pastimes : SI Grammar and Spelling Lab -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (3876)	10/22/2003 9:31:50 AM
From: Justin C	Respond to of 4710

"Nurse, can opener, please."

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (3876)	10/26/2003 12:38:27 PM
From: Jack Clarke	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 4710

Hi Holly: It is nice to see some activity in this group again. Here are some other "doctors' dictations". I can't remember where I got them, but they certainly ring true to those of us familiar with these grammatical horrors: Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. The patient refused an autopsy. The patient has no past history of suicides. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room. The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up. She is numb from her toes down. The skin was moist and dry. Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. Patient was alert and unresponsive. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. Best regards, Jack