To: Lizzie Tudor who wrote (159491 ) 11/3/2003 9:38:20 AM From: Oeconomicus Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 164684 Speaking of the 2004 Demo-contenders... ;-)Democratic pols picayunish at podium Jim Shea - Hartford Courant Monday, November 3, 2003 As the Democratic presidential debates continue to deteriorate, we join the final encounter already in progress: Lieberman: . . . and on top of that, Howard Dean is a big dooty head. Dean: Am not. Lieberman: Are too. Dean: Am not. Moderator: Gentlemen, if we may, let's move on to the war in Iraq. Kerry: I was for it, now I'm not. Edwards: I was for it, but now I'm not too. Clark: I was for it and then I didn't know if I was for it and now I'm, er, what day is it? Lieberman: Sen. Kerry, I don't see how you could vote for the war but not for the $87 billion to fund it. Kerry: It's simple, Joe, I'm a war hero, and you're a twerp. Clark: Yeah, gimme a high five. Edwards: Maybe if the senator from Connecticut spent a little less time on policy and a little more time on his hair he might actually excite a voter. Lieberman: You know what the difference is between road kill and a dead lawyer on the side of the road? Sharpton: Hey, I know, I know. Moderator: Rev. Sharpton. Sharpton: Skid marks. Moderator: Mr. Gephardt, you've been quiet this evening. Gephardt: You know, it just dawned on me the only thing I have a chance of being president of is Iowa. Kucinich: Hello. Moderator: Ms. Moseley Braun, how do you feel about the Iraq question? Moseley Braun: Oh, I don't care. I'm just happy to be up here. Moderator: Gov. Dean, how should we fund postwar Iraq? Dean: I know but I'm not saying until Sen. Rubber Face apologizes for calling me a big dooty head. Lieberman: Dooty head. Dooty head. Dooty head. Dean: I'm telling. Sharpton: Mr. Moderator, I have a question for Gov. Dean. Moderator: Go ahead. Sharpton: Yo, Dean, what's wrong with your neck, man, can't you turn that thing? Dean: Well, I got one for you, Al. Where do you buy pants with a 38-inch waist and 20-inch inseam? Sharpton: Your mama knows. Moderator: Gentlemen! Gentlemen, please. We only have a few more minutes. Final statements, who would like to go first? Dean: I should go first, I'm the front-runner. Moseley Braun: Ladies before gentlemen. Kerry: She's right, let Lieberman go first. Lieberman: What's that supposed to mean? Clark: It's about leadership, people, I'll make the tough decisions. Edwards: Stuff it, general. Sharpton: Shut up, Edwards. Gephardt: Have another doughnut, Al. Kucinich: Hello. Jim Shea is a columnist for the Hartford Courant.