Here is an article that discusses quite a few of us here.
Republican Not Conservative
In recent articles for the City Journal and National Review, Brian Anderson and Jonah Goldberg discuss the phenomenon of so-called “South Park Republicans.” There’s a subtext running throughout Anderson’s piece on conservative media changes, “We’re Not Losing the Culture Wars Anymore,” and Goldberg’s “not-so-fast-junior” response, “Building Up the Right,” that neither seems to confront. Beneath each is the semantic problem: How do “conservatives” square their “conservatism” with such non-conservative fare as South Park?
Anderson breezes over the contradiction: “Lots of cable [television] comedy, while not traditionally conservative, is fiercely anti-liberal, which as a practical matter often amounts to the same thing.” Goldberg is unconvinced: “mocking the Left is not the same thing as building up the Right.” While each clearly relishes the anti-PC agenda of South Park and others, both approach the shift in bias from a conservative point of view and overlook a critical point: the so-called “South Park Republicans” aren’t really conservative.
While Anderson notes this slightly (mostly through quoted sources), Goldberg conflates “the Right,” “Republican,” and “conservative.” Not only is such a practice riddled with political dangers, but it misses a huge opportunity for their favored political party.
There is a simpler designation for those who favor low-taxes, smaller government, greater personal freedom, and better defense and it has no literal connection with blue-blazer wearing, rarely-fornicating, uptight squares.
The word is “Republican.”
More than a few people are uncomfortable with the “conservative” label. Everyone knows what the word means, no matter how it’s dressed up politically – “opposed to change; desiring the preservation of the existing order of things; moderate; cautious…” (Webster’s). It is, decidedly, not cool.
Until 9/11, the Libertarians had a lock on those who knew they weren’t conservative but weren’t left-liberals. Two things happened following 9/11 regarding this issue. One, young people who were just going through the motions as “conservatives” but who had never contributed to the face of the Republican Party suddenly energized, jumped into view, and changed the face of the party to be younger, hipper and a little rough around the edges. Two, many former Libertarians jumped ship following the LP’s limp response to terrorism.
The result was an influx of “liberal” minds to the Republican side of the debate. The great success of weblogging shows off this trend in sharp detail. One need look no further than the “Blogfather,” Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit.com, for evidence. Reynolds openly discusses pre-marital sex, rock ‘n’ roll, drug use and other non-conservative subjects while maintaining a resolute support of the war in Iraq. Time was when no one spoke favorably on all these topics except P.J. O’Rourke.
Indeed, O’Rourke is the spiritual godfather of the “South Park Republicans.” His own journey into the heart and mind of a man who was “Republican, not conservative” was a collection of pieces titled, Republican Party Reptile. In the introduction, O’Rourke made his intentions clear:
So, what I’d really like is a new label. And I’m sure there are a lot of people who feel the same way. We are the Republican Party Reptiles. We look like Republicans, and think like conservatives, but we drive a lot faster and keep vibrators and baby oil and a video camera behind the stack of sweaters on the bedroom closet shelf. I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws, being a pussy about nuclear power, busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes, Gary Hart, all tiny Third World countries that don’t have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the U.N. taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don’t find out), a sound dollar, cleaner environment (poor people should cut it out with the graffiti), a strong military with spiffy uniforms, Natassia Kinski, Star Wars (and anything else that scares the Russkies)…
Conservatives once defined themselves as “standing athwart history yelling ‘Stop!’” This antiquated thinking doesn’t suit (if it ever did) young generations who see the future as promising more freedom, more prosperity, and more potential. We don’t want to freeze progress; we want to unbridle it. From time to time, conservatives have proffered new explications of “conservatism” – social conservatism, political conservatism, fiscal conservatism, et cetera -- but we all know what a conservative is.
So conservatives have a choice. They can continue to malign the English language with their elastic definition of “conservative” or malign their reptilian allies by attempting to pigeon-hole them with the tag. The fact is that nothing about the republican theory of government has anything to do with being “conservative.” Republicans (by historical definition, not party definition) oppose elitism, aristocratic rule and tyranny. They favor a representative government in the background, not foreground, of their lives. These are the very traits embraced by the “South Park Republicans.”
The more conservatives favor expanding government to “protect” marriage, outlaw abortion, ban assisted suicide, harass pot smokers, et cetera, the quicker they will drive their new friends away. Glenn Reynolds has called these conservative expansions of government evidence of “fair-weather federalism.” Whether or not the young reptiles care to dally on the constitutionality of these actions is a question still open. What has been decided is that decades of politician-suggested conservatism from both sides of the aisle – the PMRC; the Clipper Chip; smoking bans; congressional hearings on video game violence, rap music and college drinking – have definitely rubbed young people the wrong way.
The Republicans have a moment here that they could seize. They can dig in with the conservatives and continue to muck about with the peripheral issues; or they can shed the conservative tag, embrace the reptilian “South Park Republicans” and get to work on the fundamental issues: freedom, prosperity, promise.
The sooner the Republicans draw up a platform that concentrates only on those functions designated to the government (national defense, protection of individual rights, enabler of free-enterprise) and simplifies all the rest (flat tax, voluntary Social Security), the more futuristic they will look and the more friends they will find they have.
"Republican not conservative" is a political description that makes sense. It is unhindered by the contradictions that conservatives continually try to justify.
O’Rourke concluded in 1986, “There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks.”
Seventeen years later, we could be cruising for that hangover he predicted.
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