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Politics : WHO IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN 2004 -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MrLucky who wrote (7018)	12/5/2003 12:51:49 PM
From: JakeStraw	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 10965

KERRY TAPS HAIRSTYLIST TO LEAD CAMPAIGN Plans to Reinvent Campaign from Hair Down With his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination flagging, Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) today fired his campaign manager and promoted his hairstylist, Dominique, to the top campaign post. While some Democratic observers were stunned that Sen. Kerry would replace a skilled campaign advisor with someone who has primarily hair experience, others called his decision the first truly shrewd move of a stumbling campaign. “Basically, Kerry and his people looked at each other and said, ‘Hey, the only part of this candidacy that’s working so far is the hair,’” one insider said. “His hair is Kennedyesque -- the rest of him, not so much,” another insider said. “What we need to do is reinvent this campaign from the hair down.” Yet another close advisor to Mr. Kerry echoed those sentiments, adding, “John has had a lot of bad days on the campaign trail, but not a single bad hair day.” Focus groups conducted over the weekend gave a vehement thumbs-down to the Senator’s flip-flopping on Iraq and his bashing of rival Howard Dean, but a big thumbs-up to the Senator’s prodigious mop of lush silver hair. Mr. Kerry’s new campaign manager, Dominique, who goes merely by the name Dominique, said that there would be no immediate changes in the Kerry campaign, but suggested that in the weeks ahead voters might be seeing “a slightly more feathered John Kerry.” In other news, CBS denied that it was caving in to right-wing pressure groups on Monday when it announced its new miniseries, “Those Goddamn Clintons.” politicalhumor.about.com