Best of the Web Today - December 29, 2003
By JAMES TARANTO
Dean: Fight Bush, Be Fair to bin Laden
Will they really do it? Just 22 days until the Iowa caucuses, and the Democrats show every sign that they are going to plunge into the abyss by nominating Howard Dean for president. At a time of war, one of our major political parties seems on the verge of abandoning any pretense of national unity and choosing a candidate who seemingly hates the president of the United States but is blasé at best about the country's enemies. In an interview with Newsweek, Dean blasts "George Bush's approach to foreign policy," which he characterizes as "essentially if you have a policy disagreement with me, we're going to kick you in the rear end":
George Bush's father managed to get well over 100,000 foreign troops, including many from Arabic-speaking and Muslim countries, into Iraq. I think a president should show some respect to other leaders instead of showing his petulance.
Dean criticizes Bush for being insufficiently respectful of Arab dictators--and in the very next breath, goes on to justify his own petulance: "The people who don't think I'm warm and fuzzy are the media because I tend, when I'm pushed, to push back. I do. I mean, I can't help it. That's the way I am. . . . What I have proved to Democratic voters is that I'm tough enough to take on Bush."
"We need to remember that the enemy here is George Bush," Dean famously said at a September debate. He was chiding his Democratic opponents for criticizing him, but he really does seem to view Bush--and not Osama bin Laden or Saddam Hussein--as the enemy. In an interview with the Concord (N.H.) Monitor last week, Dean expressed indifference about the fate of bin Laden:
The Monitor asked: Where should Osama bin Laden be tried if he's caught? Dean said he didn't think it made any difference, and if he were president he would consult with his lawyers for advice on the subject.
But wouldn't most Americans feel strongly that bin Laden should be tried in America--and put to death?
"I've resisted pronouncing a sentence before guilt is found," Dean said. "I still have this old-fashioned notion that even with people like Osama, who is very likely to be found guilty, we should do our best not to, in positions of executive power, not to prejudge jury trials. So I'm sure that is the correct sentiment of most Americans, but I do think if you're running for president, or if you are president, it's best to say that the full range of penalties should be available. But it's not so great to prejudge the judicial system."
He's "tough enough to take on Bush," but when it comes to Osama bin Laden he's terribly prissy. In a subsequent Associated Press interview, Dean tries to explain his way out of this, and, as is often the case, the attempt at damage control proves even more revealing than the original remark: "As a president, I would have to defend the process of the rule of law," he tells the AP. "But as an American, I want to make sure he gets the death penalty he deserves."
One tends to doubt whether the sentiments Dean attributes to himself "as an American" are genuine; his first instinct, after all, was to shrug off the question, passing the buck to his hypothetical lawyers and insisting that bin Laden is innocent until proven guilty. But even if we take his AP comments at face value, consider what he's saying: that there is a fundamental conflict between his feelings of loyalty to the country "as an American" and his conception of the duties of the president.
One suspects President Bush sees no such conflict, that in his view, the job of the president is simply to do what is best for America. Isn't that a better attitude for the commander in chief to have, especially during wartime?
Dean Finds Jesus
In an interview published Christmas Day in the Boston Globe, Howard Dean "described himself . . . as a committed believer in Jesus Christ and said he expects to increasingly include references to Jesus and God in his speeches as he stumps in the South." Here is how Dean describes Jesus Christ:
"Christ was someone who sought out people who were disenfranchised, people who were left behind," Dean said. "He fought against self-righteousness of people who had everything. . . . He was a person who set an extraordinary example that has lasted 2000 years, which is pretty inspiring when you think about it."
Do you notice something missing from Dean's description of Jesus? Well, does he use the phrase "Son of God"? Nope. "Messiah"? Ixnay. "The Way, the Truth and the Light"? None of the above. To hear Howard Dean tell it, Jesus Christ was just a socially conscious celebrity, like Princess Diana only less glamorous.
We hasten to add that if that's what Dean believes, we have no problem with it. This column respects all religious beliefs except the most obnoxious ones; we doggedly support the American tradition of religious pluralism. It's just that if the above quote is an accurate summation of how Dean sees Jesus, it seems unlikely he'll convince anyone he's a "committed believer."
This Might Explain It
"Democrats React to Mad Cow Case"--headline, FoxNews.com, Dec. 29
Who Moved My G's?
Sen. John Kerry "suddenly began dropping his g's" last week "as he sought to project a common touch during his 'Fighting for Working Americans' tour across Iowa," the Boston Globe reports:
Visiting union carpenters and painters at a construction site, Kerry declined to put a plastic hard hat on his carefully coiffed hair (a camera crew was taping him for a commercial), but he did drop the perfect elocution he honed at prep school, Yale, and during 19 years in the US Senate. He spoke of "goin' deer huntin' " and "goin' to war as a last resort," while "runnin' down the list" of President Bush's budget mistakes that had led to "cuttin' cops" and "shuttin' firehouses."
"If we're gonna make America fair, we gotta get somebody in there who understands what you folks are doin' every day," Kerry said of next year's presidential election. "We gotta get somebody in there who understands what it means to be a workin' person in America."
The haughty, French-lookin' Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam, apparently hopes to arrest his declinin' poll numbers by speakin' the language of the common man. We were wonderin' if droppin' those G's would make understandin' Kerry's sometimes tortured positions any easier, so we tried rewritin' Kerry's explanation of his Iraq war vote:
The vote is the vote. I voted to authorize. It was the right vote, and the reason I mentioned the threat is that we gave the--we hadda give life to the threat. If there wasn't a legitimate threat, Saddam Hussein was not goin' to allow inspectors in. Now, let me make two points if I may. Ed [Gordon] questioned my answer. The reason I can't tell you to a certainty whether the president misled us is because I don't have any clue what he really knew about it, or whether he was just readin' what was put in front of him. And I have no knowledge whether or not this president was in depth--I just don't know that. And that's an honest answer, and there are serious suspicions about the level to which this president really was involved in askin' the questions that he should've.
With respect to the question of, you know, the vote--let's remember where we were. If there hadn't been a vote, we would never have had inspectors. And if we hadn't voted the way we voted, we would not have been able to have a chance of goin' to the United Nations and stoppin' the president, in effect, who already had the votes, and who was obviously askin' serious questions about whether or not the Congress was goin' to be there to enforce the effort to create a threat. So I think we did the right thing. I'm convinced we did.
Hmm, maybe he should go back to cussin'.
Speakin' of Cussin' . . .
"Moments after praising his opponents in the Democratic presidential race as worthy running mates, Wesley Clark said, in no uncertain terms, how he would respond if they or anyone else criticized his patriotism or military record," the Associated Press reports from Derry, N.H.:
"I'll beat the s--- out of them," Clark told a questioner as he walked through the crowd after a town hall meeting Saturday. "I hope that's not on television," he added.
First Kerry, now Clark: What is it with these foul-mouthed Dems? Perhaps they're going after the "youth" vote, having heard about the exciting new demographic called "South Park Republicans." One imagines Wes Clark as Eric Cartman, shouting, "Respect my authori-tah!" Somehow, though, something gets lost in the translation. What's cute for a fat cartoon eight-year-old seems somehow beneath the dignity of a 59-year-old military man.
Don't Question His Patriotism!
Bill and Hillary Clinton deny that Wesley Clark is their candidate, but a Dec. 18 Associated Press photo gives reason to think New York's junior senator may be advising him. The photo shows Clark "wearing a New England Patriots sweat shirt in a new 30-second television commercial created specifically for Saturday's game between the Patriots and the New York Jets"--shades of Hillary, the "lifelong Yankees fan."
The Pats, incidentally, beat the Jets 21-16, and trounced the Buffalo Bills this past Saturday, 31-0, continuing a 12-game winning streak and finishing the 2003 season with an NFL-best 14-2 record. We wouldn't be at all surprised to see the Patriots go all the way to the Super Bowl, which will be played in Houston Feb. 1, five days after the New Hampshire primary. It'll be interesting to see if Wesley Clark lasts as long as his team.
Baathist Broadcasting Corp.
"Barmy BBC bosses have banned reporters from calling tyrant Saddam Hussein a former dictator," reports Britain's Sun tabloid. "Instead, staff must refer to the barbaric mass murderer as 'the deposed former President.' "
How Will Anyone Know the Difference?
"BBC to Replace Saddam's Broadcast Propaganda Machine"--headline, Scotsman, Dec. 21
Sympathy From the Devil
The Great Satan is aiding victims of last week's earthquake that killed at least 25,000 in Bam, Iran, the New York Times reports:
The White House, which has had tense relations with Iran, announced on Saturday afternoon that it would send more than 200 civilian experts in urban search and rescue, emergency surgery and disaster response coordination.
The humanitarian delegation will include teams from Boston, Los Angeles and Fairfax County, Va., an administration statement said, along with disaster experts from the State Department and other agencies.
Pentagon teams will deliver more than 150,000 pounds of medical supplies from bases in Kuwait, the statement said, adding that the government is working with the Iranian authorities, the United Nations and the International Red Cross and Red Crescent to rapidly distribute the assistance.
The mad mullahs who run Iran apparently are unwilling to accept help from the Little Satan, however. "We greatly welcome any assistance from the United States," the Associated Press quotes provincial governor Akbar Alavi as saying. "We welcome assistance from all countries except Israel." The Jerusalem Post reports Israelis are trying to help anyway:
Despite Iran's willingness to accept aid from any country other than the "Zionist regime" of Israel, the Tel Aviv-based relief organization Latet hopes to send emergency supplies to survivors of the earthquake that ravaged the town of Bam on Friday.
"If there are many people that are starving and injured and have no place to sleep," explained Latet general manager Eran Weintrob, "we don't ask and we don't argue and we don't think about political issues. We just act. If we can act, we will."
It's a timely reminder of who the Middle East's real humanitarians are.
Our Friends the Palestinians
"A Palestinian fighter who went to Iraq to fight the U.S. occupation force has been killed in action, his father said Saturday," the Associated Press reports from Sidon, Lebanon. "Hassan Jamal Suleiman, 18, was the second Palestinian guerrilla from Lebanon's refugee camps to die in combat in Iraq. The first was Ibrahim Khalil, who was killed in battle shortly after a U.S.-led coalition invaded Iraq in March." More evidence that America and Israel face a common enemy in the war with Islamist terrorists.
Enron Hussein
"Saddam Hussein has acknowledged depositing billions of dollars abroad before his ouster and has given interrogators the names of people who know where the money is, a member of the Iraqi Governing Council said in remarks published Monday," the Associated Press reports from Beirut:
The U.S.-appointed council estimates that the Iraqi dictator seized $40 billion while in power and is now searching for that amount deposited in Switzerland, Japan, Germany and other countries, Iyad Allawi told the London-based Arab newspapers Al-Hayat and Asharq al-Awsat.
One wonders if this will lead some of our Democratic presidential candidates to tone down their pro-Saddam rhetoric. After all, mass murder is one thing, but this sounds a lot like Enron-style accounting--the kind of crime liberals take seriously.
What Would We Do Without Rumsfeld?
"Rumsfeld: Saddam May Fear Death"--headline, Cincinnati Post, Dec. 17
Stop the Presses
"Pope Appeals for Peace in Holiday Message"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 25
Episcopalians Imitate ScrappleFace
"Episcopal Church Appoints First Openly-Muslim Bishop"--headline, ScrappleFace.com, Aug. 4
"And what was God thinking when the Angel Gabriel was sent by God to reveal the sacred Quran to the prophet Muhammad?"--Christmas sermon, the Right Rev. John Bryson Chane, Episcopal bishop of Washington, Dec. 25
Experts Ignore Roe Effect
"More Teenagers Say No to Sex, but Experts Aren't Sure Why," read a headline last week in the New York Times. What would teenagers do without experts? Actually, the experts disagree: Some think declining teen-sex rates are a sign that efforts to promote abstinence in sex education are effective, but David Landry, a senior research associate at the Alan Guttmacher Institute, an advocate of birth control and abortion, disagrees. "The abstinence-only movement would like to take credit for what we're seeing. But this decline has been going on since the early 90's, long before their movement came into political force."
Our suspicion is that the answer lies more with the parents than with the schools--and specifically, with what we've termed the Roe effect. The Supreme Court legalized abortion nationwide in 1973, and it's almost a truism that sexually liberal women are more likely to abort their children than more traditional-minded moms. Result: Since the late 1980s, a higher proportion of teens have been raised in conservative households than would have been the case if abortion were legalized gradually or not at all.
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News You Can Use
"Children Help Ease Stress of Infertility"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 25
This Just In
"Lawmakers Take Credit Even When It's Not Due"--headline, FoxNews.com, Dec. 18
Generalissimo Francisco Franco Is Still Dead
"Many Issues of 2003 Will Continue Into 2004 and Beyond"--headline, Detroit Free Press, Dec. 28
Not Too Brite--CXXIX
"A two-year-old girl survived on a diet of butter, mayonnaise and water for at least several days in her west Phoenix home as her father lay dead on the couch nearby," Reuters reports from the Arizona capital.
Oddly Enough!
Gone Fission
"Sponsors Split on Site of Fusion Machine"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 20
A Fool and Her Money
Polly Toynbee, an Angry Left columnist for London's Guardian, was taken in by a scam:
With embarrassment, feeling a fool, I admit I was a victim of a Nigerian fraud. Looking back now, I can't think why I was so easily taken in but I did make a reasonable check. A hand-written letter arrived from a Nigerian 14-year-old called Sandra. It was nicely written on a religious school's headed paper, though not too perfect, telling me her sad story. Both her parents had died and she had to complete her last two years of school.
Her results were good, and it would only cost £100 a year for the last two years to cover the cost. I wrote back and I also wrote to her headmaster, whose name appeared on the school letterhead, at a PO box. He wrote back in more adult handwriting to say Sandra was indeed a needy and promising student, and he enclosed her last term's report. It was an impressive document, each subject carefully filled in by a teacher with different writing, giving an excellent but not over-the-top report, with some subjects subtly lagging a bit behind.
So I sent a cheque for £200 and received another of Sandra's letters, a bit too full of God's mercy and Jesus's blessings for my taste. I had an idea I might keep in touch with her to see what became of her. If I had any doubts, £200 was a modest sum for all the effort a fraudster took to create these letters.
After she sent the money, Toynbee received several calls from her bank, checking on suspicious transfers that someone had ordered from her account to a bank in Osaka, Japan. Luckily, her alert bankers kept her from losing anything more than the initial £200, but still, she's understandably ticked off. Wouldn't you be?
Only guess who she blames:
The line between honest and dishonest business is easily blurred. We point fingers at Nigeria, this richest and best-educated country in Africa that should be a mighty power had it not been so catastrophically misgoverned, with legendary corruption. Yet what kind of global honesty is promoted, what model of good capitalism and good government? . . .
The image of capitalism now being spread about the world is cowboy stuff: little gleaned from America extols the virtue of regulation, restraint and control. We reap from the third world what we sow: if some Nigerians learned lessons in capitalism from global oil companies that helped corrupt and despoil that land, it is hardly surpising [sic] they absorbed some of the Texan oil values that now rule the White House. Alas, the querulous, navel-gazing and increasingly non-internationalist EU seems in no mood at present to offer a different and better face of capitalism to the world.
That's right, there's one born every minute, and it's all George W. Bush's fault.
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