There are folks that don't think that at all. THey think Clinto was the worst and the most dangerous.
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Senator Tom Harkin had a cook out. Steaks and chance to rub elbows with Clinton for $30 bucks. A lot of democrats came. Bill Clinton came. Bill loved it. But then, Bill always loves being the center of attention. Bill still thinks he IS President.
Senator Bob Graham, who is struggling to even be seen, realized that if he wanted any attention at all, he would have to kiss up to Bill Clinton. "Aren't we proud to have Bill Clinton as an American and a Democrat," said Graham. Of course, all the candidates were struggling just to breath as yet another Clinton sucked all the air of the state of Iowa. That got me to thinking about the wonderful years of Clinton/Gore. Those 8 years that so many keep saying we had "unprecedented peace and prosperity". Yes, those Brigadoon years of paradise when Bill was in charge were free of problems and woe. There were no homeless. There were no poor or unemployed. Everyone walked around with a big, silly smile on their faces from all the joy. I was tempted to check and see if anyone even died in those eight, carefree years.
Proud of Bill Clinton? Oh my, yes! I'm so proud of how he taught our children that oral sex isn't really sex at all! Isn't it wonderful how he showed them that adultery is an ok thing to do. It's very modern. Very "European". Don't forget he also taught them that to lie under oath, as long as you are President, isn't breaking the law, it's to be expected and accepted. He taught them that the hypocrisy of going to church Easter Sunday, clutching your bible in one hand and your wife in the other and then meeting your mistress in the afternoon is the new, acceptable American lifestyle. That was the blissful era when the cleaning people often refused to go into the White House bathrooms because they were tired of encountering Clinton staff either smoking or snorting dope or having sex on the floor. Freedom of expression I say. It was a time when staff ran from the FBI who wanted to do their mandatory FBI checks. Hey, they were busy people!
Forget that Clinton was impeached. Forget the dozens of people who fled the country so they wouldn't have to testify in the many Clinton scandals. After all, if you leave the country you can't lie under oath can you! They were just doing a good thing for America and were to bashful to come forward and tell us all about it. Their pride in all the money they gave Bill was just so great they felt that to take credit for it would embarrass the President. Forget all the convictions of Clinton friends and partners in business and high staff members. Pay no attention to the curious plane crashes and suicides. That was just part of the "vast right wing conspiracy".
Aren't we all just bursting with pride how Mr. Clinton handled terrorism? Aren't the families of the at least 687 people killed by terrorists attacks here and around the world, directed against Americans on our ships, in our embassies, in our Federal Buildings and on our airplanes just thrilled that they were able to sacrifice their loved ones to help Bill look "Presidential" in his troubled times? How about the over 6000 injured and maimed in those attacks? They should feel honored to have been a part of Clinton's non-war on terror.
Wasn't it a clever come back of Bill's Secretary of State, Madeleine Albright, to explain it all away by saying, off-handedly, "This is hard to say and I haven't found a way to say it that doesn't sound crass, but it is the truth that those {attacks before Sept. 11} were happening overseas and while there were Americans who died, there were not thousands and it did not happen on U. S. soil." I thank her for educating me in the fact that U.S. Embassies and American ships are no longer considered "American soil" and that as long as it's only a few hundred murdered Americans, we need not get upset about it. How wrong I was about that! Silly me, getting angry about all those unanswered attacks and dead and maimed Americans.
Didn't Bill save us all from those evil militias and white supremacists when he sent the order to the FBI to ignore all foreign terror threats? They had no time for that with all those domestic evil-doer's in our midst's. In fact, we had little to worry about because Bill was in control. He kept those bad guys from hurting anyone, yes indeed. Not one militia group did us any harm while HE was President. Thanks Bill!
And how about the corporate greed and corruption that was overlooked just so the economy would appear to be going great guns while Bill was President? No matter that that bubble had to burst. Brush aside the warnings that the Stock Market was headed for a fall. All the economists warned us. But they were ignored. Hey, things are going great! We are making tons of money! Who cares about what happens down the road. Those corporations were giving Bill and the DNC money, lots of it. For example, the Airline industry gave the DNC half a million dollars to persuade Al Gore that more airline safety laws really weren't necessary. All those reports about terrorists high-jacking planes and using them as missiles were just a lot of bunk. Al himself said in his book that terrorists were no threat to the U.S. Bill didn't care, he would be out of office when reality struck. He would be safe. That was all that was important. His false premise of prosperity and safety would be preserved. His legacy secure. No one would tell on him....would they?
An especially proud moment for me in those 8 years was when Clinton, Kerry, Torricelli and most of the democrats showed us that our spies should not be cavorting around with bad people! How disgusting! Thank you so much for showing our CIA the proper way to conduct themselves with your "high" moral and ethical standards Mr. Torricelli and I'm sure all those charges against you for corruption and graft where just trumped up by evil Republicans.
We can't over look the fact that Bill saved us all that money that was being spent on the military. You cut the military in half, Kerry helped you stop any pay raises and put the rest on food stamps. Good job! Then you sent them all over the world to be meals on wheels and to be under the command of some U.N. commander for the first time in history. Moral in our military hadn't been that low, well, since Carter! What an accomplishment! And all in just 8 years! Amazing.
Ah, we can't let your outstanding record in the dealings with North Korea go unrecognized. You had an iron clad treaty with the North Korean's. The fact that they broke it right from the start isn't your fault. What were you to do? You knew they were not being good boys and girls. Dealing with the fact that an unstable Communist leader who imprisons and starves his own people by the millions, threatens his neighbors constantly and says he will nuke the U.S. if he gets the chance, breaks the treaty and now has those nuclear weapons is just so.....difficult. Confrontation is so time consuming and gives you worry wrinkles. You had important things to do! Like defending your behavior and gathering in all that money for your re-elections and stuff. When you think about it, it really is the Republicans fault. If they hadn't gotten so upset by the lies, cheating, illegal campaign money, selling of the Presidency and state secrets to the highest bidder, NONE of this would have happened! Shame on them.
Another proud moment in your Presidency is when Warren Christopher resigned because he felt you were selling out America's security for money. He was a foolish old man who felt that turning over our high-tech industry to China just might be a tad unsafe down the road. The American missile guidance programming source codes embedded in commercial U.S. satellites in the hands of the Chinese, Christopher thought, could jeopardize "...significant military and intelligence interests...of the United States missile guidance system." Not to worry, the Chinese will never bomb the U.S. Will they? Being the good and loyal friend that you are, you issued a post dated Executive Order protecting the two companies under Congressional investigation for selling our secrets to the Chinese. What a guy. That's right up there with all those pardons to tax evaders and terrorists. They had suffered enough, don't you think? 179 in the last day alone. What a compassionate guy.
Of course, these are just the highlights of your accomplishments we Americans should be proud of that took place during your Administration. You were so creative! Who would have thought to sell nights in the Lincoln Bedroom, rides on Air Force One, even plots in our Arlington National Cemetery! I mean, who else would have thought of those inventive ways to line their pockets with campaign money.
"I never had a nickel until I left the White House." That's what you said this weekend in Iowa. Poor guy. Of course you have never had to own your home because you were always living off the taxpayers in Government housing like the Arkansas Governors mansion and the White House with servants and maids and chefs. I know this was tough, but we are so glad you made that sacrifice for us. To make up for this sacrifice we taxpayers now pay your exorbitant house payment with joy in our hearts. Does Hillary still write off those used underwear she donates to Goodwill?
It's just so hard for us average, peanut-brained Americans to totally get a grip on the job you did while in office. So don't you let us forget! Lord knows, you won' t ever let us forget you were President. You remind us every, single day what a "great" President you think you were. Some actually believe it! So you keep having your people remind us of all the really good things you did for us. Maybe someday, someone will actually find something!
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