To: Lizzie Tudor who wrote (3178 ) 2/18/2004 5:19:23 PM From: Kevin Rose Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 173976 The problem with the Bush reelection campaign has been revealed. The half lives of their lies has fallen dramatically. Used to be, when they lied, they could expect the truth to be obscured for, say, six months or more. Now, the half life of each lie has dropped to about approximately the three day mark. In response to this challenge, the Bush administration vows to increase production of lies. Although this will mean staying up past that forbidden 5 o'clock lights out, administration aides promise to churn out an average of five whoppers a day. Here is a preview of what they are working on:Huge Surplus Headed Our Way Officials for the Bush Administration have announced that the dreaded US budget deficit will evaporate soon, and be replaced by a huge surplus. "It is inevitable", commented one senior official after viewing Bush's declining poll numbers. "We want it to happen, so the President personally asked God to help out. The President has a great working relationship with God, so we expect something on the order of the fish-and-loaves method any day now..."Jobs Not Really All They're Cracked Up to Be President Bush announced today the creation of 210 new Federal holidays. "The creation of these new holidays will allow the millions of new unemployed to imagine they are employeed.", Bush explained. "Hopefully, the illusion of being employeed will help them forget what a lousy job I've done. Maybe they'll actually vote for me."'We Will, In Fact, Be Greeted As Liberators' - Cheney Mr. Russert: "If your analysis is not correct, and we're not treated as liberators, but as conquerors, and the Iraqis begin to resist, particularly in Baghdad, do you think the American people are prepared for a long, costly, and bloody battle with significant American casualties?" Vice President Cheney: "Well, I don't think it's likely to unfold that way, Tim, because I really do believe that we will be greeted as liberators. I've talked with a lot of Iraqis in the last several months myself, had them to the White House. The president and I have met with them, various groups and individuals, people who have devoted their lives from the outside to trying to change things inside Iraq. And like Kanan Makiya who's a professor at Brandeis, but an Iraqi, he's written great books about the subject, knows the country intimately, and is a part of the democratic opposition and resistance. The read we get on the people of Iraq is there is no question but what they want to the get rid of Saddam Hussein and they will welcome as liberators the United States when we come to do that." Oops, that last one has already been used...rense.com