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Politics : Just the Facts, Ma'am: A Compendium of Liberal Fiction -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: American Spirit who wrote (5426)	3/15/2004 11:02:36 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 90947

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." --Conan O'Brien "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddamout of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" ---Jay Leno "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France. "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --- Regis Philbin "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain "I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" ---- Hannibal Lecter "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." ---- Marge Simpson "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" ---Jacques Chirac, President of France Q: How do you sink a French battleship? A: Put it in water. Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other? A: A bisexual. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? A: Nobody knows, its never been tried. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What color is the American flag? A: Red, White, and Blue. Q: What color is the British flag? A: Red, White, and Blue. Q: What color is the French flag? A: White. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? A: The Army. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What did France used to be called? A: Germany, and then we saved them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your back yard? A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you do if you drive over a Frenchman? A: Reverse! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice medicine? A: He was caught having sex with some of his patients. It's a shame, he was the best veternnarian in town! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A French rifle for sale on ebay: "It's never been fired and it's been dropped only once."