John Kerry Flops, Richard Clarke Flips, and Campaign Flaps
March 28, 2004
By Bob Parks
I’ve been busy, so this catch-up is longer than the norm.
Flip Flop
While killing time last weekend waiting for the mall to open, I stopped into an Old Navy clothing store. I couldn’t help but notice the strategically placed aisles of multi-colored, multi-styled footwear of necessity made famous by the Third World, the flip-flop.
So in the very near future we can go to malls, schools, and offices and hear the arrhythmic flapping of exposed feet to hard rubber, feet of which would gross out small children except for the fact that some of those kids will be flappin’ from the foot as well.
It’s going to be a long summer….
Apprentice Flap
In America we have the freedom of speech which brings with it the freedom to be a jerk or a bitch, depending on how you define yourself. If you’re black, you can not only be a jerk or a bitch, if someone calls you on it, you can scream “racism”, become a liberal media darling and cash in that way.
On NBC’s reality show “The Apprentice” where one can suffer the indignities in an attempt to get a good job from Donald Trump (what a premise!), a black woman contestant who was reportedly despised by fellow contestants and viewing public combined, claims she heard the “n-word” directed at her after she was eliminated from the competition.
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth claims fellow eliminated contestant Ereka Vetrini called her “nigger”. Trump, the show’s executive producers, and Vetrini emphatically deny the charge reminding us that all contestants are constantly wired for sound. If such a word were uttered, it would have been recorded.
“Believe me, I know what I experienced. Those women called me every name in the book on-camera. Imagine what they did off-camera? Imagine what they would say in the corridors.”
Maybe they had a point….
I’m sure behind closed doors Manigault-Stallworth would never utter a negative about those women, especially one involving a racial epithet. Black people never, ever refer to white people using racial slurs. I’ll bet the phrase “white bitch” never came up in casual conversation.
Manigault-Stallworth, a former political consultant currently “negotiating” a book deal, a talk show, and seeks to provide political commentary for the upcoming presidential election, has now become the latest spokesperson/expert on America and racism.
Being a race “victim” pays, even if you really weren’t.
Flipped Off
This is a tough one.
There’s this picture of American Idol’s Simon Cowell giving a middle finger acknowledgment to Paula Abdul after a reportedly heated discussion over a contestant performance. The FCC is being asked to investigate.
I’ve seen many people use the middle finger for many purposes. While doing so, I may have winced inside, but I realize that some people utilize that finger for a variety of clean activities.
Cowell is a seasoned professional. If he did screw up, he deserves what ever he gets. But try getting Simon to admit to a lapse in judgement….
Kerry Flops
Democrat presidential candidate (and veteran) John Kerry was recently on the slopes during a campaign break. Since he’s Democrat top dog, he receives Secret Service protection. After one of those agents reportedly bumped him while he was snowboarding, Kerry said, "I don't fall down. The son of a bitch knocked me over."
Note to Kerry: I know you aren’t a spring chicken where politics are concerned, but that Secret Service agent you called a “son of a bitch” is paid to take a bullet with your name on it and save your ungrateful life. But then again, my experience with Navy officers involved a predictably routine amount of ingratitude toward subordinates whose successfully completed tasks enhanced officers Fitness Reports.
A professional-sounding government source said, "Obviously, the complications and burden of being monitored 24-hours a day is not just a simple inconvenience. But Senator Kerry should understand agents are working for his safety and well-being."
Kerry is said to fall down a lot on the slopes. Hopefully a sign of things to come….
Janet Flip
The controversy following Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl rip-off must be taking a toll on her. I’m sure she feels she’s bearing an inordinate amount of the public indecency burden and I can appreciate her feeling it’s unfair.
I just wish she’d explain the recent photograph of her in a pink and white baseball shirt with the breast-high inscription “Fuck off”.
Voight Flap
Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” was an anticipated bust by the erudite in Hollywood and has thus far grossed more than $300 million within a month of its release. Let’s not talk about future video sales.
Actor Jon Voight has been trying to latch onto “The Passion” spotlight by stating on cable talk shows that while Americans seem to have handled the movie well, stupid Europeans will come down hard on Jews when they get to experience the movie.
“Mel Gibson is an acclaimed master of the cinema. He knows exactly what he‘s doing. But let me just enter into this just a little bit to show you how he manipulates. There are these rapid moments throughout the film of people turning into devils. And they‘re always connected to the Jewish people in some way. And that reminded me of the way Hitler, in his films on the Jews, created this uproar against the Jews.”
Isn’t it funny, that while incorporating Voight’s Hollywood liberal superiority complex, he automatically assumes that our compadres across the pond are just too stupid to know “The Passion” is a movie and not reality television hitting the big screen.
After all, we’re talking about Christians here, not ultra-liberal, protest-the-World Trade Organization-while-looting-the-town types.
The backlash, highly anticipated by the Los Angeles Jewish community, did not occur. I guess their credibility now hinges on Europe. Good luck….
Blair Flop
I saw former Affirmative Action case and disgraced New York Times “journalist” Jayson Blair at a book signing covered live by C-SPAN. There couldn’t have been more than 10 people there.
In fact, "Burning Down My Master's House" has only sold somewhere around 1,400 books in two weeks of publication.
Cool.
Campaign Flaps
At the Radio and Television Correspondents' Association 60th annual dinner President Bush, shown during a slide show presentation called the "White House Election-Year Album", appeared to be dumbfounded looking under furniture.
"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere."
Very funny, Mr. President. I’m sure Democrats have a sense of humor. At least I hope they have more of a sense of humor than Kerry did in 1988
"Somebody told me the other day that the Secret Service has orders that if George Bush is shot, they're to shoot Quayle…. There isn't any press here, is there?"
CBS Flop
Former counterterrorism aide Richard Clarke has stirred the pot in his new book, that President Bush basically blew off the terror threat after taking the reins from Bill Clinton. Clarke’s book has opened a few cans of worms and more than a few people are squirming.
On Sunday March 21st, CBS’ 60 Minutes devoted two segments to "Against All Enemies", Clarke’s behind the scenes tell-all on America’s War on Terror. However, people who watched the program weren’t told that "Against All Enemies" publisher Free Press, which is a division of Simon & Schuster, as well as CBS, are all owned by media giant Viacom.
In other words, the 60 Minutes segments were paid commercials disguised as journalism. This is a blatantly clear breach of journalistic ethics.
Do we see another familiar pattern emerging here…?
Stephanopoulos Flaps
Last Tuesday, Good Morning America’s Charlie Gibson asked “This Week” host George Stephanopoulos (who’s presided over the Sunday show’s lowest ratings ever) if he’s "ever seen an administration put on a sort of full-court press against one individual as they did yesterday", referring to the rebuttals of Clarke’s allegations by the Bush Administration?
Stephanopoulos replied, " No, never, it's never happened before. You would have thought yesterday that Richard Clarke was John Kerry. He was the President's chief challenger yesterday and this is a calculated risk for the administration because by coming out with such volume -- the Vice President, the National Security Advisor, the White House Communications Director -- they're going to sell Richard Clarke's book, but they have to hope that more people will accept their version."
I guess Stephanopoulos conveniently forgot the pummeling former Clinton Secret Service agent-turned author Gary Aldrich received from that administration (and lack of attention from the mainstream media) when his behind the scenes “Unlimited Access” book was released.
Clarke Flip
During Wednesday’s 9/11 Hearings, Clarke claimed terrorism was "an important issue but not an urgent issue" after Bush took office all the way up to September 11th.
Clarke told the commission, "My impression was that fighting terrorism in general and fighting Al Qaeda, in particular, was an extraordinarily high priority in the Clinton administration. Certainly, there was no higher priority."
“Your government failed you. We tried hard but that doesn't matter because we failed and for that failure I would ask, once all the facts are out, for your understanding and for your forgiveness."
Now even Hillary “Miss Cleo” Clinton, who stood up on the floor of the Senate holding a tabloid whose headline read “Bush Knew”, has been suspiciously silent while the overall determination is that with the exception of the terrorists, no one saw the attacks on New York City and Washington D.C. coming.
During a briefing in August of 2002, Fox News’ Jim Angle asked Clarke, “You're saying that the Bush administration did not stop anything that the Clinton administration was doing while it was making these decisions, and by the end of the summer had increased money for covert action five-fold. Is that correct?”
Clarke responded, “All of that's correct.
Clarke has some explaining to do. Has he whored himself to get the recognition (and money) he felt he was due when he was passed over for promotion, prompting his resignation last January? Why is it that remnants from the Clinton Administration tend to be honesty-challenged?
Mainstream Flop
The pro-Palestinian liberals in the American media missed an important quote when a 16-year-old was nabbed at an Israeli checkpoint carrying a suicide vest full of explosives. His mother’s words resonated throughout the Palestinian community where such an outspoken opinion is rare.
Referring to cowardly Hamas terrorists who promise children a glorious death, the boy’s mother Tamam Abdo said, "We just want them to leave us alone."
The boy added, "A river of honey, a river of wine and 72 virgins. Since I have been studying Quran I know about the sweet life that waits there. But when the soldiers stopped me, I didn't press the switch. I changed my mind. I didn't want to die anymore. I'm sorry for what I did."
Important words. I’m sorry (and not surprised) the networks missed them.
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