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Gold/Mining/Energy : Nuvo Research Inc -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: DaveAu who wrote (13446)	5/5/2004 1:31:03 AM
From: Cal Gary	Respond to of 14101

Filler time... How do you know when a lawyer is lying? When the mouth is moving. ================-=-=-=-=-=-================== Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases. ================-=-=-=-=-=-================== A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. “Which side is it best to lie on?” she asked. “The side that pays your fee,” replied the doctor. ================-=-=-=-=-=-================== An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have three possible donors; tell me which one you want to use. One is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died in his private plane. The third is an attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years.” “I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,” said the patient. After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did. “It was easy,” the patient replied. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used.” ================-=-=-=-=-=-================== A priest, a doctor, and a lawyer were waiting one morning on a particularly slow group of golfers. "What's wrong with these guys?" fumed the lawyer. "We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" "I don't know," said the doctor, "but I've never seen such ineptitude!" "Here comes the greenskeeper," said the priest. "Let's have a word with him. Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow. aren't they?" "Oh, yes," said George, "That's the group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight while saving our club last year. We let them play here anytime free of charge!" Everyone was silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad, I think I'll say a prayer for them tonight." "And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there is anything he can do for them," the doctor added. "Why can't these guys play at night?" asked the lawyer. ================-=-=-=-=-=-================== The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked. ================-=-=-=-=-=-================== A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed. A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!" The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!" ================-=-=-=-=-=-================== The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defense." The judge asked, "What new evidence could you have?" The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra $10,000, and I just found out about it!" ================-=-=-=-=-=-================== ================-=-=-=-=-=-==================