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Politics : Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Kerry -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ann Corrigan who wrote (26864)5/30/2004 1:54:42 AM
From: zonkieRespond to of 81568
 
<It's really hilarious & worth re-posting:>

OFFICIAL 2004 RNC CONVENTION PROGRAM Day One
6:00pm - Opening Swastika flag ceremony. Moment of silence for Adolph Hitler.
6:20pm - Israeli national anthem sung by Paul Wolfowitz.
6:30pm - KKK hoods emblazoned with the Cheney-Bush logo handed out to all in attendance.
6:40pm - President Cheney speech - why California should be included in Axis of evil.
7:00pm - Gail Norton proposal to replace skull and crossbones poison warning with picture of George Bush.
7:10pm - George Bush tells WMD jokes while sitting on 9-11 firemans coffin.
7:20pm - Haliburton presents check for 1 billion to Cheney-Bush fund.
7:25pm - Moment of silence for David Koresh.
7:45pm - Proposal to award George Bush Bronze Star, Silver Star and 4 purple hearts for bicycle wreck.
8:00pm - Rumsfeld speech - Small nukes are friendly nukes.
8:15pm - Shawn Hannity speech "All of America's problems are Bill Clinton's fault."
8:25pm - George Bush leads convention in cheers from top of firemans coffin (dressed in his old cheerleader costume and wrapped in a flag.)
8:45pm - Joseph Goebbels award presented to Fox news.
8:50pm - Ossama bin Laden thanks George bush for Tora Bora via satellite video. Pledges support.
9:00pm - Constitution shredded while attendees sing Dixie.
9:15pm - Design the republican swastika contest winner to be announced.
9:30pm - Ken Lay accepts nomination as new party leader.
9:40pm - Proposal to replace Elephant with Weasel as party symbol to be made by John McCain.
10:00pm - Tattoos for immigrants proposal to be made by John Ashcroft.
10:15pm - Condilazy Rice talks about her husb......
10:20pm - John Ascroft explains how discarding 6 items from the bill of rights will be made up for by the 6 new commandments.
10:30pm - Moment of silence for Timothy McVeigh.
10:40pm - Saudi Prince Bandar bin Sultan gives gasoline price projections.
10:50pm - George Bush tells Iraqi torture jokes while tap dancing on firemans coffin with cane and tophat.
11:00pm - David Duke delivers keynote speech entitled "George Bush is civil rights hero."
11:15pm - David Duke gives noose tying lessons.
11:20pm - Moment of silence for Salem bin Laden.
11:30pm - Drudge report accepts Rudolph Hess award.
11:39pm - Diebold announces proposed election results.
11:50pm - Former Republican Party chairman Sam Walls (Texas crossdresser) does striptease.
12:00am - Energy plan confetti dropped from ceiling, naked prostitutes run through aisles.


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