Okay Some Mexican jokes, and one Canadian thrown in because it was in the middle, so I left it!
Q: What were the 2 Mexican FireFighting Brother's names?
A: Hose A and Hose B
Q: Why did the Mexican Spy bug the enemy's Toilets?
A: So he could monitor every movement..
Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?"
"Senior, It's only sand." replies Jose.
"Sand??? Well, we'll just see about that - get off the bike!"
The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand.
Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose's shoulders, and he is let across the border.
Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: "What you got there?"
"Sand," says Jose.
A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border.
For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn't show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you're smuggling something. For a year it's driven me crazy. It's all I can think about... I can't get sleep, the kids are getting neglected...heck, even the dog senses I'm beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?"
Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: "Bicycles..."
Aimara, a Mexican maid announced to her Boss Mr Blanco and his wife that she was quitting. When asked why, she replied, "I'm in the family way."
The wife was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who it was.
The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."
Mrs Blanco was mortified and demanded an explanation.
"Well," Aimara explained, "I go to the library to clean it and your husband say, 'You are in the way'. I go to the living room to clean and your son say 'You are in my way'. So I'm in the family way and I quit."
This Mexican dude was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Texan sees him. After the Mexican is done the texan bloke asks him, "How come you Mexicans don't wash your hands after you pee?"
The Mexican smiles, "Senior, we Mexicans don't piss in our hands..."
A leading Mexican-American-Spanish-Norwegian (with some greek and scottish distant cousins) inventor has come up with 2 novel inventions in 2002 -
- A Helicopter with an ejector seat and
- A solar powered flashlight.
3 guys, an American, a Canadian, and a Mexican have been on the road for days and were starving. Seeing a farm, with hundreds of fruits they run up to the fruit baskets and start gobbeling as much as they can.
Just then, the Farmer comes out and says: "Ok, I'm in a good mood today, so I won't kill you...instead, you must stuff 100 of your favorite fruits up your but...WITHOUT laughing...."
So, the American is up first. He choses cherries and reaches 78 before bursting out laughing. The farmer then shoots him.
Next is the Canadian who chooses grapes. He reaches 93 but starts laughing so the farmer has to kill him too.
When the Canadian and the American arrived up in heaven, an angel asked them why they laughed.
They both replied, "We saw the Mexican with watermelons."
What do you call a Mexican/Spaniard/Portugesian/Venezuilian with a vasectomy?
A dry Martinez.
A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
"Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?"
His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not."
Did you hear about the Mexican who threw his wife over a cliff?
When the police officer asked him why he'd done it he said, "Tequila! Tequila!"
Why did the Mexican become so excited?
He discovered he could use Right Guard under his left arm... |
